Ask TSJ: Lovin’ Up on Non-human Mammals

LIFE IS HARD. It seems like every new day brings a new question that, try as you might, you’re just unable to find an answer for. The Smoking Jacket understands this, and we’re here to help. TSJ’s editor, Melissa Bull, and Headshots columnist, Mike Spry, set aside some time in their busy schedules to answer your questions in a feature we’ve cleverly named “Ask TSJ.”

This week’s incredible question comes from a TSJ reader named “Didi-Donkey”. 

MIKE SAYS

True you want to fuck a tamed lion or bear. Untamed lions and bears are notoriously selfish lovers. False that camels menstruate. They are cheery and reasonable at all times.

 

From,
Mike

 

MELISSA SAYS

Dear Didi,

Re: menstruation, that’s okay you didn’t graduate from elementary school, all you gotta do is just check out some basic facts about mammals on the Internets.

Too bad about the beasts. You’re a freak. But if you must court outside of your phylum, remember to woo. Bears like honey and fresh salmon. Lions like their steak tartare.

And safety first: It’s not date rape if you’re using a stungun.

 

Love,
Melissa

 

Related on The Smoking Jacket:
Ask TSJ: Sugar Caddy Rhymes with Sugar Daddy
Ask TSJ: I Want to Ask My Receptionist Out
Ask TSJ: Sex with An Ex

 

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