Ask TSJ: 4 Girls in 4 Cities

LIFE IS HARD. It seems like every new day brings a new question that, try as you might, you’re just unable to find an answer for. The Smoking Jacket understands this, and we’re here to help. TSJ’s editor, Melissa Bull, and Headshots columnist, Mike Spry, set aside some time in their busy schedules to answer your questions in a feature we’ve cleverly named “Ask TSJ.”

This week’s incredible question comes from a TSJ reader in who gets around.

Hey TSJ,

Love the column, thanks for giving back! Y’all are like Oprah but with bikini pics. Double help!

So, here’s my dealio/problemo/sitch: I travel a lot for work (I’m a creative consultant for TV, film, and theatre companies) and so I split my time between home (Brooklyn), LA, Chicago, and Toronto. Problem is, I fall in love easy. I just love the ladies. LOVE ‘EM. Like, not just grind up on them and catch my flight, but, like, flowers and cuddling and shit. Real love. But I’ve got myself in a bit of a pickle. I’ve got ladies in all four cities, and it has become a bit overwhelming. I love them all, and can’t imagine life without any of them. But I’ve been offered an opportunity that will take me off the road and keep me in one place (Chicago) pretty much permanently. What the fuck do I do?

Thanks in advance,
Joffrey in Park Slope


Heya Joffrey,

If you had to pick a fave, would Chicago be your girl? Your one and only? Your one true love? If she’s like number three or four out of four, and the lady you like mostest is the Brooklyn girl, or the Canuck, then you’re def in a pickle. Because what I think you’re worried about is that Chicago will cramp your pimpin’ love machine style. And if that lifestyle is what you’re after, there’s only one way to go.

Break up with Chicago girl and get to know a lady who’s cool with being part of a bigger love fambly. Since love for you comes so easy and all.

Man, you must be tres sexy. Because love — real, flowers and cuddling and shit love — don’t come so handy to most.

Please write back and tell  me your tricks.

Meantime, happy heave-ho-ing.



Dear Joffrey,

Back in March, we had a similar question from Matt H. in LA who had fathered two children with two different women on opposing coasts. My advice to Matt was to be bold and tell both women. We never heard back from Matt, and can only assume he’s either happy or dead.

What intriguing about your “sitch” is that somehow you’ve found four women who don’t seem to mind your travel schedule or part-time lovin’. Congrats. And you’ve found a cool gig in a city we dig, so congrats again. My suggestion. Well, if it (probably) worked for Matt it could (perhaps) work for you. Be honest with these ladies. Suggest a mormon/commune/poly-type set up in a nice loft in Chicago. Odds suggest at least two of these ladies will be into it.

Don’t underestimate these women, Joffrey. I think they’re progressive attitudes may lead to a liftetime of bliss. Or a Lifetime movie of the week: Double Polygamy in Chi-town!

Got a question for Melissa and Mike? CLICK HERE and fire away.
If we use it… your life will improve immediately. 

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