If TSJ Picked this Year’s Oscar Hosts…

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At last, two worlds collide to give us peace in our time. It took the sheer vanity and talent of two super villains to bridge the gap between the world of Detective Comics and the Marvel universe. Of all things, the despicable duo are to co-host the Academy Awards. We gotta think the Oscars just got ten times better! AND, we got a peek at the set list. Here’s what you can look forward to…

Catwoman Costume Changes

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Rest assured fan boys, there’s more than one way to skin a cat. Or, in this case, get a cat to show skin. Sure, you’ll have to endure this kitty howling on a fence for a few numbers in order to see just how scantily clad she’ll become, but you’ve had to do it with Britney Spears for more than a decade, so what’s new here? Just hit mute and crank Cat Power.

Make-out Movie Montage

If there’s one thing most Oscar-goers and watchers dread, it’s the movie montage. We’re not sure if it’s truly a heartfelt homage or merely filler. This year will prove to be quite the diversion from the norm as the montage will include all the greatest female make-out scenes in cinematic history, and we have Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman to thank for bringing this subgenre to light. Never have the careers of no-name actresses been coupled with the likes of Marissa Tomei, Penelope Cruz, Scarlett Johannsen, Angelina Jolie or Kate Winslet… until now!

The Green Goblin Heckle Hour

Thanks to Ricky Gervais, not even major celebrities are safe from harsh criticism. In order to one-up the Golden Globes this year, Hollywood’s favorite green meanie will hover about the stage hurling pumpkins at the performing Oscar talent.

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