Adventures in Sex Miseducation

We’ve all suffered through at least one appalling sex ed moment—whether it was inflicted by an awkward, asexual Health teacher, or by a sweating, squeamish parent. With this in mind, some astute person decided to create Bad Sex Ed, a Tumblr blog dedicated to amassing the best snippets of cringe-worthy advice doled out to curious, hormonal teens.

For instance, one contributor recalls the time he was subjected to a slideshow of diseased genitalia as part of a sex ed course at his Catholic school. While he and his classmates were forced to gaze Clockwork Orange-style at revolting images of mutant vaginas and penises, the woman teaching the course prattled on about the ineffectiveness of “allegedly” safe sex, making dramatic statements like, “I know a girl who got pregnant because she was dry humping a boy and he ejaculated in his pants,” and “Those people at Planned Parenthood will poke holes in condoms—abortions make them more money!”

There are also several entertaining sex ed videos and charts, including the bizarre diagram to the right, which actually appeared in a recent issue of Cosmopolitan magazine. Call us crazy, but it seems like homeboy’s penis is nowhere near where it’s supposed to be. On the other hand, this does go a long way toward explaining why Cosmo puts out such piss-poor sex advice every month.

Then, of course, there are those experiences that were just downright uncomfortable—like the time when the eighth grade teacher of one contributor regaled her class with detailed tales of the anal sex she enjoyed regularly with her husband, including the fact that his penis was “so long that she could feel the tip hitting the very back of her rectum.” Nice. Just what you always wanted to know about good old teach.

Bad Sex Ed was only launched a week ago, so it’s just getting going. However, we’re confident that there is plenty of fodder out there to help it along, so we encourage you to check out the site and share your own story about the time your gym teacher cornered you in the locker room and explained golden showers to you.