6 Laws Written About Yo Mama

“YO MAMA” JOKES are a comedy staple. They generate laughs and the occasional beat down, depending on who you’re telling them to.

Now we’re assuming you all can handle a joke, so here is a list of  ”yo mama” jokes and actually laws that effect her weight, intelligence, sexual promiscuity and economic situation.

1. Yo Mama So Ugly,
She Was Banned From Public Until the 1970s

There are many things we expect cities to ban in order to improve quality of life: Smoking, littering, loitering and large sodas.

6 Laws Written About Yo Mama

We’ll stop right there. Mayor Bloomberg is getting a boner.

While we’re well aware of certain cities banning people based on race, religion and sexual orientation, in many western and midwestern states it was common to ban ugly people. From the late nineteenth century until the 1970s, you and yo mama could get fined or thrown in jail for being too ugly.

During the 1970s these laws were repealed and the Americans with Disabilities Act largely invalidates any such laws that may occur in the future.

2. Yo Mama So Fat,
Japan Banned Her

When you think of fat industrialized nations, Japan doesn’t spring to mind first off. The nation has only a five percent obesity rate, compared to America’s whopping 35 percent.

6 Laws Written About Yo Mama

And the fatties are the athletes

But due to an aging population, Japan has instituted “metabo” laws to limit waist size, with companies having to pay more money when they have a high number of heavier employees.

The US is unlikely to institute such laws, but many states are considering incentives and taxes to steer people away from unhealthy activity by restricting fatty and sugary food.

6 Laws Written About Yo Mama

Bloomberg, get the hell out of here! 

3. Yo Mama So Stupid

You wouldn’t think politicians would want to make laws for idiots. Politicians long relied on idiots for votes and, in many ways, idiots have taken over the parties.

6 Laws Written About Yo Mama

This idiot was almost a heartbeat away from the most powerful office on Earth.

Before we even knew about DNA, science and politicians decided to improve the human race by removing the shallow end of the gene pool. States passed eugenics laws that sterilized “feeble minded” people. The Supreme Court took up the Virginia eugenics law in Buck vs. Bell and decided it was legal. The ruling was so influential around the world that thew Nazis cited it as a defense in the Nuremburg trials. And while most states have repealed their laws, Buck vs. Bell is the law of the land.

Let’s hope the standardized testing in schools doesn’t turn into a trip to the sterilization clinic.

4. Yo Mama So Easy,
They Made Sex Illegal

Sexuality has been a (t)horny issue for years. Several states passed laws making consensual sex between unmarried adults illegal, whether straight or gay. These laws weren’t just relics from before the sexual revolution either. In 2003 the Supreme Court case Lawrence v. Texas legalized gay sex, and in 2005 Virginia finally decided unmarried straight sex was okay (Martin v. Ziherl).

Anti-sex groups continue to fight, whether it’s abstinence only education in schools, trying to ban cancer-preventing vaccines or trying to prevent Plan B over the counter for teens.

6 Laws Written About Yo Mama

They are either very religious, or really want to see more Teen Mom sex tapes.

5. Yo Mama So Poor,
They Brought Back Debtors Prisons

Poor folk generally get sympathy from decent people.

But since poor people don’t vote much and can’t afford to buy politicians, they become the scapegoats to distract us from what fuck ups our government and business leaders are.

The ACLU has a whole section of their website dedicated to the rise of debtors prison and the criminalization of poverty. Whether it’s holding poor people in prison for not being able to pay legal fines, or arresting a poor woman for trying to get her kids into a better school.

In addition, many cities deal with homeless by using police harassment rather than treatment or other means of help. And after a Republican sweep in 2010, many states passed laws requiring drug testing of applicants, despite the national recession and the fact it cost the state of Florida more than it would have saved.

6 Laws Written About Yo Mama

“Please, America, can I have some more dignity”

6. Yo Mama So Cheap, She Steals From Poor Workers

Maybe your Mama ain’t poor. But she’s cheap.

Being cheap means she might be violating some laws. Using illegal immigrant labor to undercut American wages is so common as to be expected. But if she’s really cheap, she may engage in wage theft.

Wage theft is the stealing of employee earnings by employers. This can include paying less than minimum wage, misclassifying employees as independent contractors and making employees work off the clock. And it’s not always small time employers and subcontractors that do it: Wal-Mart agreed to pay $352 million for making employees work off the clock

6 Laws Written About Yo Mama

The happiest wage violator on the Fortune 500

Follow Philip on Twitter @Philip_R_Moon 

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