5 Stories That Prove Drug Dealers Buy from the ACME Catalog

Drug Dealers

Necessity is the mother of invention, and when your career is smuggling drugs you birth more solutions than Octomom does welfare benefits. But while some drug dealers stick to drug mules, hollowed out car panels and old fashioned bribery, some dealers are clearing looking to Wile E. Coyote for inspiration.

1. Marijuana Cannon

Getting drugs over the US border can be tough, especially with added fences and security. In Mexicali, drug dealers decided that if they couldn’t go through, they would go over.

They put together a cannon from a plastic pipe, a metal tank and an old car engine and fired 13 kilo packages over the border. Despite being truck mounted and mobile, the drug dealers made a mistake when US officials figured out the packages were fired over the border and Mexican police narrowed down the location. That was probably for the best, as a human trafficking version couldn’t have been far behind.

2. Meth Rocket

Breaking Bad has changed our view of meth makers from being toothless white trash to stone cold chemistry teachers. In the real world, that’s not always true. Some are rocket scientists.

When police in Missouri busted drug dealers, they searched their car and found a rocket stuffed with $145,000 worth of meth. The car was rigged up with pulleys and ropes that would lift the rocket, and the cigarette lighter would ignite it, shooting the evidence out of the car.

3. Breast Implants

When cocaine and breast implants are mentioned in the same conversation, you imagine Tony Montana doing lines in the cleavage of strippers. But in Spain, the implants themselves were cocaine.

A Panamanian woman was working as a drug mule, but instead of swallowing drug packets or hiding them up her butt, she had a backroom boob job that put cocaine implants in her chest. When airport officials found her bleeding and covered in gauze, they sent her to the hospital, where the cocaine boobs are removed.

4. Heroin in Carpets

You gotta feel sorry for Coyote. He puts a lot of work into his plans only to have them fail.

That is nothing compared to the drug dealers who went through the trouble of smuggling heroin in by carpet. The men wove thin plastic tubes of heroin in the carpets and brought the carpets to the UK. Police discovered the drugs, and it took two weeks to pick the evidence out of one carpet.

5. Extensive tunnels

Drug tunnels aren’t a surprise. It’s easier to sneak things under the fence than to sneak through it. However, the average tunnel is a crude hole, build just large enough for a mule to squeeze through and built without support systems to prevent cave-ins. Then there are those cartels that make tunnel building an art.

A tunnel found in Arizona that crossed the border was not just a hole. It was a reinforced tunnel spanning from an ice plant in Mexico to a strip mall. The tunnel was estimate to cost $1.5 million dollars to construct, which is impressive considering they has access to so many low cost Mexican laborers.