Any franchise founded on time travel is inherently demanding of its audiences, never mind one forced to endure divergent timelines, a TV spin-off, and a revolving door of writers, directors, and movie studios.
Don’t even get us started about where the hell this fits in.
The Terminator franchise was able to survive its first two rounds more or less unscratched, but by the time Rise of the Machines came along, it became quite clear that the filmmakers were more interested in keeping the franchise alive at any cost than preserving one that still made sense. The horrific afterbirth was Terminator Salvation, a film that breaks so many of its own rules and pisses on its own dogma so many times that it could have functioned as an entirely different move.
We like how even the “simple” version is not so sure about Salvation.
The whole mystique surrounding the Saw franchise is that Jigsaw is too damn brilliant to be caught. However, by killing him off in Saw 3, it makes each subsequent film tougher and tougher to tie Jigsaw back in it. It’d be like if they tried to make a SE7EN franchise starring Kevin Spacey in every movie. They guy is freaking dead.
So… does this mean he’s now a zombie?
While we all like a villain who likes to think a few moves ahead of his opponents, nobody has enough free time on their hands to leave enough material to fill four movies after they are dead. By the time the series ended, you had to play Six Degrees of Jigsaw just to understand who was talking, never mind why the fuck you were watching a movie starring them.
3. The Santa Clause
It’s interesting to consider who the Santa Clause had more power over: Scott Calvin as a character or Tim Allen as an actor. Either way, this franchise remains one of the few in cinematic history whose entire premise is based on screwing over the audience as much as its main character. If Santa Claus is indeed a saint, his business card was undoubtedly drafted by the Devil.
If you zoom in close enough, it says “A product of the Walt Disney Company.”
2. Die Hard
Each time a major terrorist happens to cross paths with John McClane, the entire Die Hard series loses credibility because it makes John McClane even that much more important to his world’s security. He saves a hotel, and then an airport, and then New York City, and then the country. For A Good Day to Die Hard, we already know he’ll be on his way to Russia. The only place forward for the franchise after that is up.
In space, no one can hear you Die Hard?
In short, unless Bruce Willis gets airdropped in Afghanistan to end terrorism once and for all—which, honestly, we would pay to see—the overall mythos of the Die Hard series is that John McClane is a bit of a Christ-like figure to his universe. While this is only half-true in our universe, it sort of makes you wonder how John McClane’s work will survive once he is dead… assuming he is mortal.
1. Jurassic Park
By Jurassic Park III, the franchise had been around so long that even the dinosaurs were evolving. At this rate, the only way Jurassic Park IV will work is if it takes place before they all become birds.
Still better than Jaws 4.
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