Deleted scenes have become an interesting commodity this past decade. Thanks to the advent of DVDs, we can finally see how different—and in some cases, awful—some of our favorite films almost were.
That is, assuming they weren’t terrible to begin with.
However, every now and then, you come across a deleted scene that not only improves the movie, but sort of makes you realize that the film is broken without their inclusion. Submitted for your approval are several deleted scenes that would have made the movies they were cut from make a whole lot more sense if they were include.
You don’t need us to tell you that The Return of the King was an unnecessarily long movie. Odds are you’ve sat through all 200 of its minutes asking yourself when it was going to end.
However, it came as a shock to everyone on the Internet – including actor Christopher Lee – to learn that his character Saruman the White was cut from the conclusion of Peter Jackson’s Lord of the Rings film trilogy at the last minute. In the film, we’re more or less told that he’s no longer a threat and can be ignored. The deleted scene from the pricey Extended Edition DVD, however, is not simply an alternate take of the sequence. It presents an entirely different movie where… holy shit!… the central villain who isn’t a CGI eyeball actually gets punished for his crimes!
Also, where Gandalf is significantly less lazy.
Imagine if Return of the Jedi opened with the Rebels launching a surprise attack against the Super-Star Destroyer Executor only to find the epic headquarters from the previous film abandoned. Also, we’re told that Darth Vader, the most prominent villain from the past two movies, is in his meditation chamber, but under guard and won’t be bothering anyone anymore. And that he’s no longer powerful, because… Because.
Oh, and the best part, the people guarding him are these things:
And no, there aren’t any Wookies or Ewoks in those trees.
That’s what a film that was going to win 11 Oscars no matter what opens like.
Seriously, what would it have taken for him to ruin this movie? We want to know!
Any movie involving acts of God and melting faces should be given a special pass when it comes to plot-holes.
Particularly when the faces belong to Nazis.
However, there are quite a few questions in Raiders of the Lost Ark that have nothing to do with the Old Testament and basically boil down to questions as simple as: How did Indy get to that secret Nazi Island?
Unfortunately for Indy, the password was in Hovitos.
It turns out there was a whole sequence left out of the movie where Indy lashed himself to the U-boat’s periscope with his whip. Indy then rode the U-boat all the way through the Mediterranean to the Nazi island. In fact, if you look closely enough, you can even see him on the map.
See? Plot-hole solved.
If you read the screenplay, you’ll see that Indy’s little adventure on the periscope was an entire movie on its own. They even had sharks surround Indy, and you know John Williams would have tossed in the Jaws theme for that.
Dun dun Dun dun Dun dun Dun dun…
As far as epic beatings go, this probably would have gone down in cinematic history as one of the most memorable Dr. Jones ever received. Also, while it still wouldn’t explain how the hell Indy and Marion got off the island, but it does make one possibility slightly more plausible…
“Indy, does that thing float?”
One of the greatest blunders of any robot movie is showing a terminator with emotion. Particularly within the Terminator franchise, which we’ll be the first to admit makes less sense the more we watch it.
One of two good reasons to stop watching it.
What’s the point of designing robots that are witty or feel pain or exhibit things like o-faces when they’re supposed to be thoughtless, mindless, heartless killing-machines? There is none, which makes so much of Terminator 2: Judgment Day come off as confusing as hell. That is, unless you’ve seen the crucial deleted scene where they reset the Terminator’s programming to make him act more human and less like a human who’s a dick.
Just like this prick.
See this spectacular, James Cameron-esque ending?
More or less, the ’90s.
Is there any way to explain this scene without John and Sarah Connor toying around with the Terminator’s brain-chip ahead of time? The only options out there are that the Human Resistance programmed the Terminator to self-terminate as spectacularly as possible. It’s either that, or we’re supposed to believe that this is how all Terminators die in real life.
Apparently, all programming for T-101 models involves lots of drama classes.
Once again, Dr. Jones appears on this list. Or, more specifically, Short Round, who for some reason demonstrates precognition abilities when it comes to how to wake people up from the Black Sleep of the Kali Ma.
If the explanation involved midichlorians, we would have walked out of the movie.
Fortunately, Short Round is not a Youngling. Instead of using Jedi powers or some ’80s era power of love, he simply saw a guard get burned with lava in the mines. The flames woke the guard from the Black Sleep, which was handy since this was precisely the information the audience needed for the last half-hour of the movie to make any sense.
Except for the Indian prince with the Voodoo doll.
Why this crucial scene got cut out from the movie, however, is an entirely different story.
It was either this or have more scenes of Willie Scott screaming.
This was not some interesting but ultimately unnecessary detail about how Willie Scott’s grandpa was a magician. This is the crucial moment in the film that made the escape from the Temple of Doom possible. If Short Round was able to rescue Indy because of love alone, then that makes his exclusion from the subsequent two films even crueler in hindsight.
And it was all so we could have more of this.
It’s hard to believe Ben Stiller enjoyed such a hilarious bit-part as a sadistic retirement home manager in Happy Gilmore without his character receiving any sort of poetic justice.
In all fairness, that epic mustache does entitle him to some immunity.
Happy headbutts Bob Barker and beats the shit out of countless hockey players in the film, yet we never see him unless his inner-Gilmore against a person even more cruel to the world around him than Shooter McGavin. That is, unless you watched the TV version of the film, which included a crucial deleted scene to compensate all the swearing that was cut out.
Check it out:
It’s the same deal as with Saruman, only in this case even more personal. At the end of the day, Happy Gilmore is the story about a 30-something-year-old who is devoted to his grandmother. Having Grandma Gilmore go from homelessness to a sweat stop while Happy Gilmore obsesses over a golf tournament is nothing short of a cautionary tale about misplaced aggression worthy of comparison to Moby-Dick.
On that subject, they need to make a Moby-Dick starring this guy as Ahab.
Including this crucial deleted scene changes all that, even if it does come sort of come off like they ran out of money in the budget to show Ben Stiller beaten to a pulp with a nail sticking out of his head.
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