If you’re still wondering what you’ll be doing on Valentine’s Day — or worse, pining away for some lovely lady who is highly unlikely to make your dreams come true — we have good news:
You’re spending it right here! That’s right, for all you non-Valentine-having fellas, we have Valentines galore for you in the form of videos and jpegs of the world’s hottest models.
Victoria’s Secret girls Candice Swanepoel, Miranda Kerr, Karlie Kloss and the rest wearing their finest silken red and pink underthings. Adn you don’t have to buy them dinner, or chocolates, or flowers. Or even underwear. They’re already wearing it!
And now you see the genius of our plan. No pressure. No guilt. Just the fine almost-naked lady goodness we usually serve, only with the mere suggestion that this is somehow a special thing.
It’s a bullshit holiday, folks — even if you’re utterly in love and want to make your lady feel like the only girl in the world, the odds are you will screw something up. Who needs the pressure?
Look at the pretty girls and forget the pressure. You deserve it, bro.