Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show is Much Better in Hindsight, Actually
The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show aired last night to record ratings and a now-familiar, ever-louder chorus from body-image crusaders.
“Too skinny!” they say, “The Angels are too skinny!”
Seriously, people, these are superhuman models and they are too thin in the way Shaq is too tall. And you shouldn’t be traumatized that you’ll never be as skinny as Alessandra Ambrosio any more than you should be traumatized that you’ll never be as tall as Shaq.
So to the Curvinazis I have this to say:
Um, I agree. They are too skinny.
Maybe Doutzen Kroes is blessed with an inhuman metabolism, and maybe she has the ability to push her figure into eating-disorder territory without actually having an eating disorder. Maybe Miranda Kerr’s freakish rebound from pregnancy was accomplished in a totally healthy way. These are insanely beautiful women, but it’s up to every man to decide whether six-pack abs, countable ribs and pointy hipbones and clavicles do the job for him. I’m not accusing anyone of being anorexic or unhealthy—my only thought is that this is just not as aesthetically pleasing as it ought to be. This is the sexiest lingerie show that we can put on prime time TV? Really?
I think to myself, would I want all women in the world to look like this? And my answer is no, I would not. I would miss the Shay Marias, Carrie Keagans and Lucy Pinders too much. I would prefer a room full of Lucy Pinders to a room full of Candice Swanepoels. Although in either case I would make the best of whatever hand cruel fate had chosen to deal me.
There is also the issue that the skinnier the models get, the more elaborately cantilevered the lingerie must be to give them cleavage. I really have no idea what most of these girls would look like topless but I would be very surprised if any are packing heat like Helena Christensen, Tyra Banks and Laetitia Casta did when they were Victoria’s Secret Angels a decade ago.
Bottom line: The best pictures in this gallery are the butt shots, I think. A woman can obsessively tone her trunk and boot-camp away her boobs, but to lose a nice ass you really have to be gaunt and genuinely sickly-looking. You probably do have to have an eating disorder to achieve a truly bony butt. But don’t take my word for it. No, really, don’t; I am not a doctor or fitness expert, I am just a guy showing you pictures of girls in their underwear.
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“Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show is Much Better in Hindsight, Actually”
8:46 am on December 1st, 2011
Let’s talk about Karlie Kloss. If you don’t want to make judgements re: anorexia, I will. Granted, models are suppose to be skinny, especially for lingerie. And for the most part, as a rational being knowing that it isn’t “normal”, I’m ok with this. Kloss is where I would draw the line. I understand how organizers could justify including extra-skinny seasoned models, who have already branded themselves and are a selling point of their show. But with the industry’s recent movement towards “healthy-er” models, there’s no excuse for hiring someone like Kloss who portrays a negative body image to young girls. Shame on the VS team for selecting her, they should know better. As for Kloss, she’s a beautiful girl, seems like she has a lovely personality, but she needs to put on a few (check out pics of her backside, she has def lost her butt). That being said, I really wish the lingerie was the focus of the show…
10:01 am on December 1st, 2011
^ You have a point about Kloss but she is only 19 and she is 5″ 11″ and she is a seasoned model who will fill out in a few years. However your point is correct as it applies to the majority of the VS models – way too skinny and as appealing as a piece of lettuce for the main course in a Thanksgiving meal. Yes – I agree, lets add some women with more healthier bodies and some curves. While we are it this entire fashion show is a farce unless of course you are in the market for jeweled wings or consider KWest & JayZ as relevant!
3:53 pm on December 1st, 2011
You have to be kidding. Everyone has a different body size. Welcome to reality. Just because they’re a bit skinny, doesn’t mean they’re not hot. Maybe you would like women with muffin tops hanging over to model lingerie. You’re disgusting.
8:53 am on December 2nd, 2011
hey What!, if you read my comment, my point is that Kloss – specifically- is not “a bit skinny”… She is TOO skinny. I think models should be lean (ie. no muffin tops), but there is a big difference between healthy skinny and protruding bones. If this opinion makes me “disgusting” in your irrelevant eyes, so be it
@del mar: I really hope she fills out because she has a stunning face. Either way, im sure she will have a successful career. I think the show is suppose to be whimsical and unrealistic/idealistic… as a tangent of an artistic installation. I think that’s what they are going for – think high fashion shows- it’s always over the top and unwearable. It’s part of the fantasy. and in that respect I think they did a really great job with their various themes. Way better than last year! My least favourite being the “Pink” line. I’m just not into that playful stuff, too trashy for me. Speaking of trashy- I really wish they didn’t have the musical numbers in the middle of the shows. I know why they do it, and its fun to watch but I wish the fashion would be the focus! You gotta admit some of those “wings” were absolutely stunning (no matter how ridiculous!)
8:59 am on December 2nd, 2011
I too prefer my models to be shapely, like seals.
7:13 pm on December 3rd, 2011
As someone with an eating disorder (slightly recovered)…watching this Victoria Secrets fashion show was a bad move on my part. I have once more hopped on the thin bandwagon. I really wish if they wanted her to be their model…not to use her as their poster model. She is way too thin, and a VERY BAD UNHEALTHY IMAGE for Victoria secrets. And I am APPALLED that VS would think she would be an appropriate image. Someone mentioned that Candice was too thin during the summer, which compromised her VS contract. Miranda and Doutzen were very nice! And fit the image wonderful. Now with Kloss as the ‘new’ body image…this is a sick society.