Rub and Tugs, Divorce Hotels, Naked Bar-Mates, A Pubic Battle, and Sex Addicts
Born again virgins? What a joke. A reality show is looking for engaged virgins. We didn’t think born again virgins should count because, as Kevin put it, “you can just put ‘born again’ in front of anything, and it doesn’t make it so.” Also, how do they cast for this show, with a hymen check?
Want to get divorced in style? The Divorce Hotel takes couples who are ready to be single again, and lets them “go out in style.” The GM/Inventor of the hotel says they take care of everything from legal docs to post split celebrations. It’s only in Amsterdam now, but coming soon to a town near you.
Amber Paxton is Playboy’s June BarMATE. She slings booze at The Elevator Drought House in Columbus, Ohio. She loves being naked, having doggy style sex, and says that men have spilled drinks on her on purpose to hit on her.
The Power Hour:
Mr. Skin joined us for the Power Hour before we brought back in our BATTLE OF THE BABES contestants, Cody (landing strip) and Jillisa (No pubic hair), for Round 2 of The Pubic Battle. Last week was a tie, so the girls returned to battle it out in a round of physical, mental, and sexual fun. Today they got upside down on THE RACK for the mental round, and ended up light-headed and panties-less. Once again, the ladies tied, and after a sweet sexual round of girl on girl fun, they will be back here again next week with a third pubic challenger!
Junk Smelling, Truth or Bare, Wiggle Tests, Erotic Tickling, and Bears. Oh, My!
Tosh. 0 was more like Playboy Morning Show.2 after he kicked off his new season doing a web redemption for a video that we already redeemed 3 years ago. “Smell Yo Dick” was given a new life again by Mr. Tosh, but Kevin and Andrea brought this song to the mainstream in 2009 by sexing up the video. Take a look at both videos (video 1, video 2) and you be the judge!
Winner of the Indy500, _____________, was scheduled to call in, but canceled after Kevin and Andrea agreed that men should never pour milk on themselves… NEVER! Guys can pour Gatorade and Champagne only. Girls can pretty much look good pouring anything on themselves (besides chili).
The Playboy Adviser joined us to talk about everything from lesbian lust, to ticklish erogenous zones. The theory is that women can’t be turned on and ticklish at the same time. Andrea claims that this is true.
In today’s erotic edition of FIFTY SHADES OF BLACK, Jaron got our blood boiling with his erotic readings and sexual tips. He taught us that you can call semen ”an eruption of pearly white lava.” We don’t think you should.
The Power Hour:
Jo Koy came by to hang out for Power Hour, and talk about his upcoming Vegas show. He also showed off his $30,000 gold Rolex. Bring in the Ladies!!!! We were joined by Samantha, Katie, and Lindsey for TRUTH OR BARE. The girls were good liars, and ended up costing Kevin, Andrea and Jo, lots of money. Unfortunately, they were so good at lying that they only got down to bikinis. BOOOOOOO!!!
Lesbian Utopia, Masturbate-a-thons, Depraved Girls, and Sexy Skypenger Hunt
How do you recover from a three-day-weekend of drinking, grilling, and swimming? With us, silly. Andrea spent her weekend getting hit on by “older women.” After taking erotic pictures of each other at a house party, Andrea was getting hit on from every direction by “drunk horny women.” Lucky her.
After catching up on their weekend antics, Kevin and Andrea chatted with Scott Alexander about Xbox rumors, Facebook Phones, and all other cool things that The Amish hate.
Turns out that women hit their sexual peak at 28, and guys hit it at 33. This lead to a discussion about what is a sexual peak, and how is it judged; quality or quantity?
Women like sex as much as guys… maybe more. The Girls Guide to Depravity teaches women to be sexually liberated and think like men. Tips include “If There’s a Pill There’s a way.” and “Have a Magical Pussy.”
Goon Naked/Bad Naked was full of nudity, including genital flashing graduates, naked man face eaters, and drunk junk grabbers.
The twelfth Annual Master-Bate-A-Thon took place over the weekend. At this years festivities, two world records were broken; one for speed, and one for distance.
The Power Hour:
The power hour began with Joy Glass Sexy Skype-ing, and hiding cupcakes in her panties. Then we filled Andrea’s Hole, before creating a Lesbian Utopia with
@SherraMichelle, @MissRachelShine & @GabbyNena based on the Angry Pastor’s anti-gay sermon.
After building a fence, and filling with pillows, blankets, and lesbians, we added food, and a very special Lesbian Birthday Pie for our 21-year-old lesbian. Thanks Pastor Worley. Great Idea.