The Playboy Morning Show… and Tell!

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Friday 1/31/14

Happy Friday! It seemed like it’d never come,but here we are, at the end of another week. Talk about photo finish.

We started the shenanigans today by checking out one of our rejected Doritos commercials from last year’s Super Bowl to get us pumped for this year’s show on Sunday. Be sure to check it out right here on PlayboyTV at 1pm PT. It’ll be a hoot.

Next, we began a very important ceremony here in the Mini Mansion: The Pardon-ing of the Avocado. Andrea prodded, groped, and eventually picked one lucky avocado to be spared from being made into guacamole at one of the millions of Super Sunday parties this year. The others, unfortunately, were ceremoniously massacred by our girls and turned into the traditional green pulp we all enjoy so much.

After that, we welcomed in Scheana Marie and Ariana Madix from the Bravo show “Vanderpump Rules,” which has its season finale next Monday. These hot restaurant veterans were the perfect candidates to play “Name That Alleged Perv: Restaurant Edition,” and even handled a gametime rule-change as only experienced servers can. It comes with the territory.

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We took a short break and then we went on a pair of sexy Skype-enger hunts featuring girls representing both teams playing in the Big Dance this weekend. We don’t really even know who won this matchup, all we know is that they looked good doing it, and that’s really what webcams were made for.

Finally, we welcomed in our ladies who presented the guacamole for our party, and we held a moment of silence for all of the avocados who bravely sacrificed themselves so that we can eat their delicious insides. It wasn’t a long moment or anything, just a second, ’cause our mouths were full.

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Thursday 1/30/14

It’s Thursday, and we had a great show lined up for you.

We began things by showing you who is going to be doing our Super Spectacular Tailgate Show before the big game… it’s R & B superstar Jason Derulo! He’ll be stopping by this Sunday, and we hope you will be too. It’s the only place to get tail before the football game, because they’re not gonna let you tailgate.

Next, we featured a story about women in South Korea who are making thousands of dollars a month simply by eating in front of their webcams. Seems like a sweet gig (depending on the food, I guess), and we gave you our American-ized versions throughout the show today. If there’s one thing we know how to do, it’s eat.

After that we welcomed in TV personality and all-around product man Tony Little. Tony talked about the legion of products he’s endorsed over the years, including his new one: diet popcorn. He was even nice enough to give Gigi some workout tips. We can’t think of a better person to play Ass Scene vs. As Seen with, where we hear a title and guess whether it’s an infomercial product or porno movie. This is one of those games that gets harder the more you think about it, but Tony crushed it, proving he’s truly the king of As Seen on TV.

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We took a quick break, and then came back to talk to Heidi van Horny, a 22-year-old pornstar who is looking forward to her 23rd birthday, and plans to spend it by sleeping with 23 different guys. Good thing she’s not any older, right?

Finally, we wrapped things up with a little debate between heads and tails. Even the coin flip isn’t safe from being bet on during Super Sunday, and we had our two beautiful ladies Paris and Chelsie come in to tell you why you should pick one or the other. You know, just in case you’re 50/50.

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Wednesday 1/29/14

Hello everyone. There’s an old saying that goes: words are like sound inside of your brain, and reading about the Playboy Morning Show is almost as good as watching it.

We started today’s show by talking with Mr. Skin, who is going on vacation tomorrow, and we will miss him dearly. But! He promised us a Skin-geyser of celeb nudity when he comes back, and that almost makes it all worth it.

After that, we did a special live-action Sextra Point featuring referee Carly and challenger Ali Rose, who went through more football terms so you know everything you need to know before the big game on Sunday. Be sure to watch our pre-game great TAILgate beforehand, at 1pm Pacific Time, too. It’ll be the sexiest pre-game show on TV by far.

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Next, we welcomed in Crista FlanaganEddie RitchardDesiree Hall, and Samantha Colburn from the new film “Best Night Ever,” which opens in theaters this Friday. The film features “found-footage” of these four ladies traipsing around Vegas and getting into all sorts of trouble, so be sure to check it out.

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It’s rare that we have four beautiful guests on our couch at one time, and four beautiful models in the studio as well, so we decided to play some Playboy Feud: Best Night Ever vs. Breast Day Ever. In a close game, the actresses came out on top of the models, but not before the lead changed hands several times. A Mini Mansion divided cannot stand… so they made up and all was right again. Now we just have to find somewhere to bury the hatchet…

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Tuesday 1/28/14

It’s Tuesday, and every day brings us closer and closer to that beautiful summer weather. Unless you live here in Los Angeles… it’s 75 degrees here today. Don’t be jealous.

We started the show off today by checking in with the first of of our many “Guess That ‘Gasm” orgasm types. Apparently there is an orgasm for every season and every reason. We saw the likes of the “Faux-gasm,” the “Snore-gasm,” and the “Surprise-gasm.” Know your types, so you can tell the real deal from the fake shake.

Next, we checked out a Feastiality which featured the Monte Crisco burger. We’re going to let you work for your diabetes and look that monstrosity up for yourself. We can’t be an accessory to heart failure.

After that, we welcomed in Cody, Kourtnee, and Kaysee to talk about revenge sex. A new study says that about 25% of people do it, but OUR study showed that that number is much higher in hot chicks. It’s easier for them, so it’s not their fault.

We took a short break and then welcomed in Natalia Reagan, from “10 Million Dollar Bigfoot Bounty,” a TV show that is offering a huge cash prize to anyone who can come up with real, hard evidence of Bigfoot’s existence. So get those cameras ready, folks. It could be your meal ticket.

Since Natalia seems to be such an expert in monsters, we played “Who Would You Do?” This game features two very different types of mythical creatures and we debate on who we’d rather sleep with, weighing the pros and cons, of course. It’s not just for sleepovers anymore!

Monday 1/27/14

Mondays are as inevitable as death and taxes. Fortunately for you, that also means another great episode of the Playboy Morning show!

We started things off by checking out a new product on select shelves across the country: boob deodorant. It’s not just for grandmas anymore, and apparently it’s in high demand. Hey, sometimes you gotta get that underboob sweat under control.

Then we connected on Skype with Miss February 2013 Shawn Dillon, yet another Playmate who is campaigning to be the next Playmate of the Year. So many eligible ladies, how do you choose? We don’t envy the voters this time around, they’ve got their work cut out for them.

Next, it was time for some Good Naked/Bad Naked, where we take news stories of rude nudes and make them sexy. Today we saw stories that featured a man posting naked pictures of his ex at her place of work and a naked man gyrating next to his mailbox. Our girls Lisa, Paula, Mariela, and Sarah came in to do their best in sexy-ifying these worsts.

We took a short break, and then welcomed in Eugenia Kuzmenia, a super hot Siberian model who knows more than her fair share of catwalks and red carpets. Since she’s so learned in the ways of glamour and the mishaps that can happen when your thin dress decides to fall down, we debuted a few lesser-known slips that you probably won’t be seeing on any award show pre-show. At least, not any we’ve heard of…

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Thursday 1/23/14

Happy Thirsty Thursday, everyone. If you need some hot ladies in your life, you’ve come to the right place.

We started this Thursday like we start most Thursdays: by talking with Mr. Skin, purveyor of all kinds of celebrity nudity. We enjoy his puns and pics, and if you want to see more, be sure to check out his website.

After that, we welcomed in esteemed author, self-made millionaire, and 90-year-old gentleman Dan Horowitz aka “Pillow Dan.” Dan’s book “The Pillow Treatment” came out a few years ago, and since then, he’s been a favorite guest of our show and we decided to check in with him and see how the good life is going. Dan’s doing fine out in Vegas, but we realized he never had a proper book signing, so our eager models Jenna, Helenea, and  Lauren came in to have him sign their copies of the book, their personal pillows, and even their own bodies. Dan was more than happy to oblige.

Next, we read some excerpts from Dan’s book (“The Pillow Treatment,” available on Amazon), and then took some reviews we found online and read those, too. We’re all about promoting literacy here on the Morning Show.

We took a short break, and then it was time for Pillow Talk with Pillow Dan, where the girls sat on a bed and asked Dan some personal questions and got his advice. Dan has years and years of experience, and boiled most things down to either buying his book or coming home with him to his backyard. Simple instructions, but if he made it to 90, we’ll take his word to the bank.

Finally, we had Dan referee a good ol’ fashioned pillow fight. The color commentary from him was a bit lacking, but that doesn’t mean he wasn’t paying attention… In fact, it’s probably the opposite. If you want to be more like Dan, and hear about his amazing life, give his book a read… It might just change your life.

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Wednesday 1/22/14

Happy Middle of the Week! The time glass is officially half full. Or half empty, depending on your outlook.

We started the show off today by doing a Pubic Service Announcement. We feel it’s our duty to keep as many pubic regions safe as possible, so we let you know that pubic-grooming-related injuries are on the rise in all age brackets, so be careful, pay attention, and take your time. Don’t become a statistic.

Next, we continued our Sextra Points, making sure that you’re up-to-date on all the football terms and definitions so that you can look like a certified football guru at your Super Sunday party. Today’s words were “field goal” and “fumble.” You’re welcome.

After that, we Skype’d with Darla, who is a nudist who was recently evicted from her home in her colony when she voiced her concern at the nudists around her engaging in crazy sex acts all over the place. Usually, we’d say doing that stuff is perfectly fine, but in the nudist community, there’s a time and a place, even more than our boring clothes-on world, so we’re inclined to agree with her on this one.

Throughout the show today, we took a poll on which style of underwear men prefer to see on their ladies. The options were: bikini, thong, boy shorts, and commando. As could be expected, commando took the lead right out of the gate and held on for the entire show. Men are so predictable.

We took a short break and then welcomed in Bradley Lords, from the Showtime series “Gigolos.” Bradley is, in real life, a gigolo who goes on dates with women for money. Sounds like a job any man would envy, but it takes a certain breed of handsome gent to pull in the high-profile clientele Bradley and his company see. We talked to him about what it’s like going out in Vegas with different women every night, and why women pay for the boyfriend treatment.

Finally, we had our models Chelsea, Toryn, Hailee, and Chloe come in and play a game where they guessed how much it would cost them to spend certain amounts of time with Bradley. Based on his answers, it sounds like he’s doing pretty well for himself. Both financially and otherwise.

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Tuesday 1/21/14

Happy Tuesday, ya’ll. We had a real barn burner today, which we don’t really understand, but somebody said was good so we’ll take it.

We began things by looking at another one of our fine Sextra Points, to help the less-football-conscious get to know some key terms before your inevitable Super Sunday party. Come for the guac, stay for the talk.

After that, we showed the first of many of our Just the Tip: Sick Sex segments, where we help you get over the cold and flue season the Playboy way: sweat it, ride it, and sex it out. Our lovely modelsVictoriaKaysee, and Justina showed off their doctor skills and also some fine bedroom remedies for what ails you. We’ll take their treatment any day.

Following those helpful tidbits, we talked on the phone with Nicholas Sweeney, the director of the British documentary “Secrets of the Living Dolls,” which chronicles people who put on what they call a “second skin.” It’s super interesting behavior and Nicholas dove right in to what he discovered in this very secretive world. Don’t confuse this film with those Chucky movies they put out every Halloween.

We took a break and came back with some more Points and Tips to keep the information rolling, and then put on our lab coats and safety glasses for some Sex MythBusters! Today’s myth we tested was whether hot girls get hornier when their temperature goes up or when it goes down. First we cooled off our ladies and showed them things that make women get riled up, and then we had them huddle together for warmth to see if their opinions changed. We’re not sure if this follows the scientific method, but we don’t care, we had fun doing it; and that’s what science is all about.

Monday 1/20/14

Another week, another set of Playboy Morning Shows. Let’s roll ‘em out!

Today’s show started off with a tease for our Super-tacular Tailgate Special, which airs on Super Sunday February 2nd. This segment is called “Sextra Point,” and features some football terminology for you to brush up on so that you don’t look like a doofus while watching the game. So study up!

Next, we welcomed in Melissa Howe, of the Howe Twins, to talk about her new pictorial. She was going to come in with her sister, but she was “sick,” so we called Carla Howe up on the phone to see what was really up. Turns out it’s part sickness, part hangover, but that doesn’t change the fact that their pillow fight pictures are still super hot, so be sure to keep your eyes open for those.

We kept Melissa in for the first of many recurring “How-To with The Howe Twins” segments, where Melissa walks us through some simple tasks and teaches us how to do them. So much learning going on today.

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Next, we welcomed in Sabina Kelley, star of the reality show “Best Ink,” which is a reality show that features would-be tattoo artists competing for a cash prize and story in Tattoo Magazine. She’s recently divorced and looking to have fun, so she’s right at home here in the Mini Mansion. If tattooed ladies are your thing, you couldn’t do much better than Sabrina, just ask her weird Spanish stalker. Actually, don’t do that.

After a short break, we finished off the show with a little MLK Day celebration: Black, White, or Both? This game features answers over our models’ breasts that are either (you guessed it) Black, White, or Both. It sounds simple, but you could’ve fooled us after seeing how it went down. Apparently we still have more to learn.

 

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