It’s almost the weekend, and I don’t have enough energy to even finish my… my uh– you know, my uh… my… thoughts.
Anyway! We had a great show today, and it all started with a little chat with Robin Leach about all things Vegas. Robin’s staying at an undisclosed Los Angeles hotel at the moment, and was rockin’ his complimentary bathrobe like he didn’t intend to give it back. And we support that.
Next, we heard from some ladies about sexy Vegas stories that they’ve had over the years. They say that things that happen there stay there, but that usually only works if you don’t tell anyone. We sympathize… if we were as hot as Amber, Miranda, Lindsey, or Kourtnee, we’d want the world to know of our exploits too.
After that, it was time for the Week In Sex! Andrea gave us the news around the sexy world, like the fact that you can now get male chastity belts in cool colors like camouflage. So if you were waiting for the camo one, your patience paid off. You’ll need it.
We took a short break and then it was time for the Friday Awards! We heard about artistry, clothing we’ve lost, and the bald moment of the week. Patting yourself on the back technically counts as touching yourself, right?
Finally, we rolled through another helping of the Playboy Morning show giving thanks with food! The item du jour was mashed potatoes, and the ladies had to sculpt the breasts of the girl next to them, using only their hands and their blind artistic sensibilities. Turns out mashed po-titties actually end up looking pretty accurate. Your move, sculptors…
Thirsty. Throwback. Practice Friday. Call it what you will. It’s Thursday. Let’s get to the show.
We began things today by checking in on another one of our beautiful models’ progress for Muff-vember. She’s actually had some success growing the horizontal hair patch down there, and even has a respectable Dali look going on. Keep it up, ladies. You’re halfway there.
After that, we chatted on the phone with Mr. Skin, who highly recommends finding “Blue Is The Warmest Color” in its limited theatrical release, because it’s got some hot girl-on-girl for about 12 minutes. Mercy.
Next, we welcomed in Sanaa Lathan, from the new film “The Best Man Holiday,” which hits theaters this Friday. Sanaa talked about what it’s like doing a sequel 15 years later, and the size of everybody’s trailers on set. Actors are very territorial.
After a short break, we Titty-Picked tonight’s Colts/Titans football game. Andrea went with the Titans for the upset, and Kevin played it safe with the Colts. We’ll have to wait ‘n see.
Next, to celebrate Hawaii’s recent same-sex marriage law by playing a round of Hawaiian Lesbian Chicken! We welcomed in Chelsie and Rachel, who are actually both bisexual in real life, so you know they’re gonna be in it to win it. Each girl made a move, and then the other responded, getting more and more seductive at every turn. Eventually Rachel tapped out and Chelsie was technically the winner, but I think we all win whenever Lesbian Chicken goes down. Good on you, Hawaii. If you want to see more Lesbian Chicken, make sure those laws pass in YOUR state. It’s up to you!
Finally, we continued our march toward Thanksgiving food madness by introducing our next ingredient: good ol’ corn. Instead of chowing down on an ear, we did a little mouth-to-thigh corn relay that ended at our specially decorated Thanksgiving card table. Just like where Mom still makes you sit after all these years.
Welcome to Wednesday! Let’s get over the hump.
We began things today by reminding people to continue to use November as an excuse to grow out a Muff-stache! We had Cody come into the studio to tell us about her progress so far, and her plans for the future. Keep at it, ladies.
After that, we read a few tweets from you guys featuring the hashtag #AssWednesday. Not really sure why that’s trending, but we’re not complaining over here. And we had the girls read the tweets with their butts for good measure. You brought this on yourselves.
Next, we talked on Skype with Lexi Sims, who is one of our Cyber Girls. We had Lexi do a Sexy Skype Scavenger Hunt in her home, which was already decked out in Christmas stuff. After the two minutes, she had completed a record 8 challenges! She and her cage lingerie should be proud.
We took a break for a couple minutes and then came back to play “Know It or Show It,” the world’s longest-running naked game show. We brought in Cody, Veronica, and Toryn to put their clothing on the line against their trivial knowledge. With questions surrounding Obamacare, Numbers, and Fantasy Football, our models were naked in a few short minutes.
Finally, as Thanksgiving approaches, we are giving thanks here on the Playboy Morning Show by celebrating little-known uses of popular Thanksgiving foods. Today’s special was cranberry sauce, a staple of any Thanksgiving table, and no one was quite sure why… until today. We figured out it can also be used as body paint, or allergy-resistant lube (assuming you’re not allergic to cranberries…).
It’s Topless Tuesday here in the Mini Mansion, and we had a doozie of a show to celebrate.
We kick-started the show with a bit of science. With “This Day in History… if Only History Were Sexy,” we examined the Voyager 1 Spacecraft flying close to Saturn and taking the first pictures of its rings and its moon Titan. We had the lovely Carly break it down for us and then had Saturn (Gigi) and Voyager 1 (Chloe) come into the studio and show us first-hand what that encounter would have looked like 33 years ago… if it were super sexy. Some would even say it was… out of this world. PUN OVERLOAD–
Ahem. Sorry about that. Next, we had a special surprise for Andrea, in the form of a mystery guest… This “guest” was on the phone and answered Andrea’s questions to see if she could guess who it was. After much fierce interrogation, she came into the studio, and it turned out to be E.G. Daily, most famous for playing Dottie in Andrea’s favorite movie “Pee Wee’s Big Adventure.” Most recently, E.G. was seen as a contestant on “The Voice,” where she wowed the judges with her rendition of the song “Breathe.”
After a quick break, we had our sexy model Grace come in and tell us about the first item of our ongoing Thanksgiving food countdown. It’s arguably one of the most important, most versatile, and most overlooked foods: butter! To finally give butter its due moment in the sun, we placed it on the bodies of our hot models and watched as it melted away. We knew our girls were hot, but we always thought of that more as a colloquialism than a straight fact; I guess all that liquid butter proves it.
Happy Monday, ya’ll! We had a great start to our shows this week, so let’s make like a hot chick walked by and check ‘er out.
We began things by going over out Titty Picks from last week, and Kevin continues to slowly pull ahead of Andrea. It’s not looking good for Team Titties, but we’re not giving up hope. Andrea went with Tampa Bay for tonight’s game, so we’ll have to see how that plays out.
After that, it was time for Good Naked/Bad Naked, where our hot models Victoria, Ashley, Jenna, and Lauren came in and read clues so that our hosts could guess whether it was good or bad naked. If it was bad, our ladies would then re-create it in order to make it good. It’s just one of the many public services these gals do.
Next, we introduced Pete Holmes, who has his own talk show on TBS. This tall funnyman is also a talented artist, and he showed us his skills when he went up against Andrea, who is our resident artist. Both turned out pretty well, especially given their short assignment time.
Now, since Pete is new to the TV game, we know he is going to have to put up with a lot of criticism. We had our ladies come in and read some of the things they’ve said about his show, in varying levels of nakedness based on meanness, to soften the blow. He took it pretty well, but that might have something to do with the titties.
Finally, as it is Veteran’s Day, we had our girls model some outfits based on the branches of the military, and then show off their specific talents. God Bless America.