TSJ did all the heavy lifting. We sorted through the planet’s sexiest ads and brought you the six sexiest ever.
1. Selling What? All I Saw Was Boobs
Wait, what? There was a man with dollar bills stuck all over him while driving a speedboat in this Geico commercial?
All we saw were two super hot, delectably delicious and bodaciously boobylicious babes lounging on the bow of another boat. Someone also told us there’s a voice-over. We didn’t hear a thing.
Guess we should have our eyes (and ears) examined.
2. Kelly Brook Shares Boobs And Booty in New Axe Ad
In what basically amounts to soft-core porn, Axe is out with a Turkish ad which features Kelly Brook, 33, on a space station in various states of undress.
The woman, who was recently seen writhing in a perpetual state of pent-up, hyper sexualized ecstasy, wakes up on a space station, sprays Axe all over herself, prances around in a neglige, strips down to a bikini for a few minutes in the sun (while sliding melting ice cubes over her body of course), removes her bikini, dons a skin-tight, cleavage-bearing space suit and runs into the arms of a hot spaceman dude.
And… they live happily ever after.
3. Chrissy Teigen Gets a Skittles Shower
While on a faux photo shoot organized by Olson, Sports Illustrated and Maxim model, Chrissy Teigen, was interrupted mid-photo shoot by an epic downpour of Skittle released from a box above her head.
Teigen made the most of the surprise by writhing atop the skittles as if she were in bed with a harem of men.
4. Guys, You Wish the Ladies Wanted Your Package this Much
This one’s for the ladies. And for you men who love to ogle big packages.
In a new Benefit Cosmetics video entitled Real Men Don’t Fake It, a collection of men proudly flaunt their packages for the ladies.
And while each of the men proudly flaunt their bulging manhood, the ladies become increasingly eager. Except what they are eager for is something entirely other than what you might expect.
As the women ogle the men’s packages — which seem to grow in size as the video progresses — the men reach into their pants as if to offer up their porn star-sized members to the excited ladies. Except what they ultimately offer is humorous commentary on what women truly find exciting.
5. What’s Hotter? Hot Pot Noodles? Or a Hottie in Lingerie?
Oh those damn advertising standards groups. Always sucking the fun right out of the kind of ads we love so much.
You know the ones.
Ads with super-sexy, barely-dressed hotties who, in many cases, have nothing whatsoever to do with the product being advertised.
But that’s OK.
Because no one actually likes advertising. But most of us love looking at a hot girl in lingerie And, thanks to Pot Noodle, we get to stare at a hottie in lingerie and determine if she’s hotter than the noodles. As we alluded to before, the UK’s Advertising Standards Authority banned the ad because it was deemed “crass and degrading.”
Well, thanks to the Internet, nothing every truly gets banned.
6. Justene Jaro’s Boobs Sell Jeans
The headline about says it all really. Check out Justene Jaro and her huge breasts convince the world to run out and buy a pair of The Hundreds jeans. And, yes, we know the ad is two years old.
But aren’t you glad we decided to feature it today?