Stacie Marie is a Missy Who is Ready to Play

Stacie MarieWe could write you something about how awesome Playboy model Stacie Marie is, but we don’t think we’d do any better than the cocky haiku that is her Twitter (@MissStacieB) bio:

“I’m the girl all the bad guys want. Published glamour model. Hooters Girl. Dreamer. Lover. Rocker. IU Girl.”

That about sums it up. But for more information, such as her breast-acular high school nickname and the specific brand of guitar that gets her juices following, read on.

Read on.

Read on.

Read until your dreams come true…

A nickname I have had: In high school my basketball team gave me the nickname “Tiggo.” It was short for “Tig-O-Bitties” which is “Big-O-Titties” with the B and T switched. The name came from some rap song that was big my freshman and sophomore year, and it totally fit because I had some of the biggest boobies on the team! At first it was a little embarrassing because they called me “Tiggo” all the time and gave me crap about having huge boobs. I wasn’t as comfortable with my body back then as I am now, but I obviously grew out of that.

I’m a nerd about: Reading. I am always reading a book. I finish one and start another. There are some days I plan my schedule around a book I’m reading if it’s really good and I’m dying to finish it. I just started The Hunger Games series, and “obsessed” might be an understatement.

Try not to stare at my: Teeth! It makes me so nervous when people stare at my mouth or teeth when I am talking to them, because in the back of my mind I feel like I have a big hunk of food stuck in them. I have very white teeth and they are straight from having braces so that’s what people are looking at, but it still worries me!

I would rather have a root canal than: Be in the car for a long period of time by myself. Being a part-time model, I have to travel out of state for shoots and I always dread the drive. I get so bored and tired and it makes my legs hurt! I have seriously considered paying someone to drive me to shoots because I hate it so much.

Sex is: Always better with someone you really care about. I’m not saying one-night-stands are wrong or not fun, but sharing such an intimate moment always means a lot more if it’s with someone special and not a total stranger. Plus waking up next to someone you know is a lot less awkward the next morning.

My greatest weakness: Musicians! Nothing turns me on more than a guy with a guitar. I’m putty in his hands! I really prefer rock and metal guitarists too, not a momma’s boy singing me some dorky love song. Leather pants, tattoos, long hair, and Les Pauls are just a few of the things that get me wet.

If I was a Bond girl, my name would be: The same! My dad got my name from Stacey Sutton in A View To a Kill. He thought Tanya Roberts was really hot and liked the name Stacey, but my parents decided to change the spelling from EY to IE.

Food that turns me on: Is wine considered a food? Feeding me a few glasses of Moscato is a sure way to get me feeling sexy and maybe even take off some clothes.

Something cool about having boobs: I get to grab them, pinch my nipples, and make them bounce up and down in the mirror any time I want! It also gives me a free pass to grab other girls’ boobs and not get smacked in the face. Pretty sweet deal if you ask me!

I cried unnecessarily the day: I first saw Aerosmith play in concert. I cried through like the first 4 songs and then again during “Dream On.”

When I throw a party I make sure to have: Snacks. When I drink, I get the “drunk munchies” and always want food. So when I have people over I make sure to have plenty of party/snack food so people don’t leave and get food after drinking. Oh yeah, and plenty of toilet paper is a must too when throwing a party.

The funniest comedian is: Will Ferrell. There isn’t one movie of his I don’t love.

I wish people would stop Tweeting: Like they’re having a text message conversation. People will have 20 back-and-forth Tweets about personal stuff that no one else understands. That’s not what Twitter is for. If it’s that important then exit out of Twitter and text or call them! Quit taking up space on my timeline.

When I was 8 years old I thought I would be: In the WNBA someday. Basketball was my life back then and I never thought I would stop playing.

Stay out of my way when: I don’t get breakfast. I am super grumpy and not my normal bubbly self when I don’t eat first thing in the morning. This doesn’t happen often though because I always make time for a healthy breakfast—it’s my favorite meal of the day.

I am completely freaked out by: Bulging veins, and taking someone’s pulse at their wrist. I almost didn’t pass a dental assistant program in high school because it totally wigged me out touching someone’s wrist and feeling their blood pumping. I actually can’t even do it myself!

A type of ladies’ underwear I don’t enjoy wearing is: Anything made of cotton. They are so plain and un-sexy. Even when I’m wearing sweats or jeans and hoodie, I always sport sexy little numbers made of lace or silky material. You never know who is going to see your undies so you don’t want to be caught wearing some that could pass for your Grandma’s.

I will never understand why men: Have to scratch their balls or adjust their junk right in front of someone. Guys always seem do it right in the middle of having a conversation.

My relationship with spectator sports is: I love watching sports and always have. I am a college basketball and NFL fan. I grew up near Bloomington, Indiana, and went to Indiana University for 2 years which means I’m a die-hard Hoosier fan! As for the NFL, I like the Colts and the Cowboys. Pro baseball games are fun to watch too but only at the ballpark. It’s not as fun on TV.

If I were to go that way, my lesbian lover would be: Miss July 2011 Jessa Hinton, Kate Upton, or Kat Von D. I think Jessa is one of the sexiest Playmates of all time—she is like THE perfect female! Kate Upton has an incredible body and who doesn’t think her natural big boobs rock? And Kat Von D—it’s the tattoos that draw me in. Seriously, so hot.

Song I am most likely to play turned up to 11: Anything by Led Zeppelin. I really don’t need to explain that one.

My backup career if this whole “being pretty” thing doesn’t work out: I would love to move to a big city and be a personal massage therapist for a few celebrities or professional athletes. Massage therapy is something I love doing, so why not have fun, travel, and make tons of money doing it?

Last time I ate way too much: Was at my favorite Japanese steakhouse—every Monday and Tuesday evening it features half-price sushi rolls. I usually go every week or every other week and eat like it’s the last meal I will ever have! I could eat sushi every day and never get sick of it. It’s so good while I’m eating it but I feel like I need a wheelchair to be rolled out after I’m done.

The best thing I learned from an ex-boyfriend was: To not let a guy control my happiness and stop me from following my dreams. If I had listened to him I never would have gone to a Playboy Casting Call and eventually been a Special Editions model and Cyber Girl.

The most rough-and-tumble outdoor activity I do is: Four-wheeling.

A grown man should not: Be afraid to tell his mom that he loves her. Ladies, you will know if a man is going to treat you right by the way he treats his mom. Nothing melts my heart more than seeing a guy give his mom a hug and a kiss bye in front of other people.