NASCAR is huge! It’s not bigger than Jesus, but it’s a close second. Folks love NASCAR more than they love their wives, they love NASCAR more than they love their children, they love it more than they love football—if only in North Carolina.
What is it about a bunch of guys turning left in Chevy Impalas and wasting millions of gallons of precious fossil fuels that people love so much?
Here are a just few things that make NASCAR great.
Apparently people drink when they go to NASCAR races. One might even say a NASCAR race happens in a place where 100,000 people have come to get a good drunk on.
And honestly, what could possibly go wrong with 100,000 drunk people? Given that NASCAR began as a hobby for moonshiners it shouldn’t come as a surprise that alcohol features so prominently in the sport, and at an average of 250,000 bottles of beer sold per race, it is definitely prominent.
Besides you need a buzz to liven up crowd when the action is on the other side of the track, or race goes into a caution, it certainly goes a long way to making baking in the sun with giant ear protection feel like a good time.
Because few can afford to only drink alcohol once you’re seated in the grandstand, and you can’t do keg stands in there either, the drinking at NASCAR races—like any good American sport—starts early and in the parking lot.
And the drinking is accompanied with food. So much food. Don’t forget the food. Ribs and briskets, wings and bratwurts, chilli, gumbo, stews, hoagies, grinders, po’ boys… It’s a veritable feast of calories and indulgence during a NASCAR tailgate party.
And party is the operative word, like if you don’t have both a headache and an upset stomach by the time you enter the track, you ain’t doing right.
3. NASCAR FANS
NASCAR fans get a bad rap for being a bunch of rednecks and hillbillies but they’re so much more than that.
They’re a fine bunch of folks, fiercely loyal, who just happen to love their stock cars going real fast. They may also be the most patriotic Americans you’ll ever meet. As happy to dress the stands in our nations colours
As they are themselves:
And they’ve thought of everything. Ways to beat the heat:
How to sup’ up mobility scooters:
Even solutions for when you need to pee in a crowd of 100,000:
Plus many of them go the day topless—though they usually look like this:
Any way you slice it, Nascar fans are about as rowdy a bunch as you’ll find at any sporting event. Ready to Giver and Get ‘er Done.
4. NASCAR GIRLS
Somewhere along the way, as NASCAR morphed from a hobby of rumrunners into a multi-billion dollar colossus, someone realized that the men who attended these races liked looking at beautiful women, and ever since NASCAR races have been full of said lovelies.
Who are these women? Mostly they’re schilling for beer companies, racing teams, sunscreen, and other event sponsors; but who cares why they’re there so long as they’re there, right?
And since they’re at the track and they have to pose all day you might get lucky and catch them entertaining themselves doing something like this:
Or you might even meet some and get a picture like this:
While some will deny it and claim the love the speed or noise or left-hand turns, most people who come out to watch NASCAR are hoping to see a crash or two. Something spectacular but not fatal if possible, maybe a car getting airborne:
Or a car catching on fire:
Or a multicar pile up:
And even though fatalities do occur at the track, and sometime the fans themselves are the ones that get injured when one of these cars breaks up scattering shrapnel and car parts, they keep coming back, sitting along the fences and drunkenly cheering the throats horse.
Like I said, fiercely loyal.
5. MAKES IDEAL WHITE NOISE
Maybe you’ve tried and failed to get into NASCAR. I understand, the sport is not for everyone—just everyone who’s awesome.
But fear not, dear unawesome one, because you and NASCAR can still have a relationship.
Watching NASCAR is a great way to sleep off a Saturday night, a NASCAR telecast make the ideal white noise, so good they should make an app and market it as a sleep air.
The drone of the engines, the monotonous commentary, the 500 laps, it puts you right out—even more so than golf. Plus as far as the networks airing it and NASCAR are concerned, you helping their ratings, so it’s a win-win.