Valentine’s Day Blows, and Other Obvious Puns

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Ah, Valentine’s Day, the great swindle. Let us guess…

The game plan is a lavish dinner; a bouquet of roses; a bottle of Champagne; a touching, handwritten valentine that says “I love you, Sweetheart.” And say, what’s in the box, pal — sweets? Or perhaps a diamond ring? When all’s said and done, how many dollars are you out?

Man, Valentine’s Day blows.

Here’s our version of the story. It is more about naked models and porn stars.

The game plan: Lavish Styles, Rosie Jones, Carlotta Champagne, Angelina Valentine, Fibi Love, Monica Sweetheart, Aimee Sweet, Diamond Jackson, Mya Diamond, Cindy Dollar and Vikki Blows.

This is, without a doubt, the most convoluted post we’ve ever written. All for the sake of some hot pictures:

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