Ok, so you know how the so-called United Kingdom is actually four kinda-countries lashed together to make a bigger kinda-country. England is the biggest piece, and then you’ve got Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland “united” to make the United Kingdom. They’re united, except when they’re not, as in sports. That’s why the Scotland isn’t really a nation but has a national football (soccer) team. As do Wales and Northern Ireland.
None of the four pieces is in the International Olympics Committee on its own, so they don’t have Olympic teams. The best athletes from Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland play for Great Britain alongside those of their detested English overlords. (Yes, there is some age-old resentment at work here—see the film Braveheart.)
All well and good until you get to the question of Who plays for the Great Britain soccer team in the Olympics? Well that very matter was decided yesterday: Northern Ireland is on board, but Scotland and Wales said No thanks. (This issue kept the UK out of the 2008 Olympics.)
Does this mean anything for the UK team? Will they feel the loss of Scottish and Welsh players? Arguably not. Does this mean anything in terms of girls and the watching thereof? Well it might make you a little curious as to who is the hottest babe in, say, Northern Ireland. Something you don’t think about too often.
In babe terms, Abbie Montrose of Glasgow, Scotland, will NOT be eligible for the UK side. And Seren Gibson, born in Ruthen, Wales, will NOT be eligible for the UK side. (Nor, for that matter, will Catherine Zeta-Jones, who is from Mumbles, Wales.)
If needed, the United Kingdom CAN add Laura Lacole, of Belfast, Northern Ireland, to its Olympic babe squad. What the hell, pencil her in—she is, after all, the first and only Northern Irish Page 3 Girl.