Tuesday Totty: Sam Faiers, Maria Fowler, and Lauren PHWOAR Pope

Sam Faiers Maria Fowler Lauren Pope

totty \’tä-tee\ British : sexually attractive people, esp. female. “Quite a bit of totty in the pub tonight.”

TOWIE — The Only Way is Essex — is a reality TV show that has many in the UK entranced much like Jersey Shore and The Hills captivated American audiences. The trials and tribulations of young, often annoying people who are thrilled to be on TV. Do you want to know all about the power struggles, the cattiness, the betrayals?

Hell no! You’ll never see this show. On to the babes…

Samantha Faiers (co-star): A glamour model who’s done some magazines and a 2011 topless calendar. She has, as they say, nice boobs, but is she in it for the long haul, or will the allure of famous-for-being-famousness hinder her career as eye candy? We’ve seen it happen before. Speaking of eye candy, here’s a helpful interview with Sam Faiers at iCandy Mag. Sam also has a nub of a website at www.samfaiers.com — we’ll have our eye on it.

Chloe Sims (supporting character): ITV (the channel that airs the show) plugs her as a Playboy model or bunny, specifically for Playboy France. Of all the specious (or at best exaggerated) claims of Playboy imprimatur, this is one of the specious-est we’ve heard. In our line of business if someone has posed for Playboy and then ends up on TV, those pictures soon after end up on the internet. Yet we’ve seen zilch in the way of supporting photographic evidence. If you have naked Playboy pictures of Chloe Sims, let’s see them, but until then we’re remaining highly skeptical.

Maria Fowler (supporting character): Maria is a working glamour model. And that is all we know about that.

Lauren Pope (supporting character): BINGO!! Lauren has been a Page 3 Girl and is a successful DJ who still models. She stirred up rumors when spotted in the company of Prince Harry, and has been known to date a professional soccer player or two. She also has a company that sells hair extensions, Hair Rehab.

(Incidentally, “Essex girls” have traditionally been the butt of jokes in the same way blondes are in the States, although they’re portrayed as not just blonde but also slutty. For instance, “Why do Essex girls like tilt steering wheels? More head room.” Have a chuckle at this and 98 other chestnuts at “99 Essex Girl Jokes”. But look at the pictures first.)

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