totty \’tä-tee\ British : sexually attractive people, esp. female. “Quite a bit of totty in the pub tonight.”
Perhaps we should explain that headline — kids, there once was a thing called the British Empire. Not sure they teach this in schools anymore, but the British Empire was the largest and last empire of modern times. It was the “Empire on which the sun never sets.” The British Empire included Canada, India, and Australia; whole parts of Africa, the Middle East, and the Caribbean; and the American colonies until, of course, the colonies revealed themselves to be total badasses by bearing arms and not quartering soldiers.
But Britain: Some would say her best days are behind her. An Empire diminished. We would argue, though, that while military might isn’t what it used to be, when it comes to the subjects of girlwatching, Britain has never been more of a global force. We’re talking about the Page 3 Girls and lad mag models, once a peculiarity of disposable media (today’s news is tomorrow’s fish and chip paper) and anyhow unlikely to achieve fame outside of the country’s borders. But thanks to the internet, these topless wonders are lusted after all over the world. There are jpegs of Lucy Pinder and Rosie Jones sitting on hard drives on every continent and most islands.
Britain has churned out a small army of beautiful topless babes, and it can be hard to give them all their due. Take Rhian Sugden (@rhianmarie), who debuted in The Sun in August 2006. That is quite a long time ago in the modeling world, and she looks as good today as ever.
Gaze upon these pictures (by master British glamour snapper Frank White) of Rhian from 2007, 2010, and just last year. This is what it feels like to be colonized. Lie back and enjoy it… or at least think of England.