On the Sauce: Drink Away the Snow — 4 Sexy Mixing Tutorials 4 U

So, yeah. Winter. It’s happening. (Shut up already, Floridians. I don’t even know who you ARE.) Cue in your mama’s “I’m Dreaming of a White Christmas.” Or if she don’t roll like that, some “Blue Christmas.” Etc.

Winter’s okay, till the day right after New Year’s, anyway, amirite. It’s the slush + salt + shivering to smoke your smoke ten feet away from the bar that make winter lame-0 all the way.

Enough already! We at TSJ declare it’s time to show a little agency against the harsh winter wonderland world. Scrap that shiver me timbers business. Ya, man! TSJ says, don’t go out! Stay home to drink! We’re all too broke to go anyplace anyway. Just crank up that heater to the max, stream yourself some Miami Vice and concoct yourself some Caribbean cruise kinda cocktails. Tada! It’s Christmas in July. Or Christmas in Cuba. Or something something someplace boiling hot. YES.

Here are four ole cocktails that might just trick you into thinking you’re on vacay. Drink like you got your tropical on. Blend up those fruity drinks like there’s no tomorrow. The best part about the videos? They’re instructional, sure. But in a sex education(ish), warm-the-cockles-of-your-heart way.

Bottom’s up, y’all. Ole ole.

How to Mix Yourself a Pretty Buncha Girls Margarita

Mojitos Is Sexytimes

Make Some Sex on the Beach

How to Make it with a Pina Colada Girl