These days, it seems like mugshots can be worse than the alleged crime itself. When the cops snap your picture, they almost never get your good side. Granted, finding a good side after a night of methamphetamine fueled debauchery can be a challenge, but still, they could at least try.
So that got us thinking — can anyone take a sexy mugshot? To find out we scoured the web looking through police departments’ online mugshot books (aka various websites that are in no way affiliated with law enforcement). We found that some women never take a bad picture, even in a really bad situation.
Below are our picks for the nine sexiest real life mug shots, no celebs allowed.
You know what prostitutes are really good at? Right, hand jobs, but also something else. Prostitutes are particularly skilled at destroying political careers, just ask Eliot Spitzer. His career was famously derailed after it was revealed that he had been dropping huge sums of (in our opinion, very well spent) cash on an escort named Ashley Dupré.
So far, he seems to be surviving the fallout pretty well and we wouldn’t be surprised if he makes a roaring comeback at some point. Former Illinois Lieutenant Governor nominee Scott Cohen probably won’t be so lucky. Not only did he make frequent visits to Amanda Eneman, the remarkably gorgeous prostitute in the above mugshot, but he also moved her into his house and was eventually arrested for holding a knife to her throat. But in his defense, he was totally jacked up on steroids at the time, so you can’t really blame him, right? Welcome to Chicago politics, folks.
Ok, ok, so this woman was actually arrested for prostitution. You don’t generally get arrested for being a stripper, although that is an idea that could morph into a pretty rad Footloose sequel. But you have to admit, Shannon here has way more of a “stripper who took things too far” look about her as opposed to the more traditional “trading sex for heroin” look that a lot of prostitutes go with. So we’ll give her the benefit of the doubt.
Right, this is getting a little closer to that “traditional” look that we mentioned in the previous entry. But even still, aside from the fact that she appears to be a graduate of the Courtney Love School of Makeup Application, Jaclyn here is keeping herself together quite nicely. She’s got a tan and everything! Constant access to sunlight…just one of the many perks of working nights.
Hey, do you think it’s just a coincidence that she’s not holding one of those mugshot signs up to her chest? Talk all the shit you want about the heavy eyelids and the unsightly forehead acne, but given the opportunity, nine times out of ten you’d hit it. Especially if you were as hammered as she probably is in this picture. Don’t even lie to yourself.
Alright, so we’re not 100% convinced about the legitimacy of this picture. Are there any pictures of this woman in court the next day with a shiner handed out by surly lady cops in retaliation for flipping them the bird? If not, we call shenanigans.
Wish You Were Here
Yeah, we kinda wish we were there too! This classy lassy has almost certainly seen better days. It’s a general rule that going to jail constitutes a really awful day unless you got there by way of thwarting a terrorist attack through excessive force and questionable interrogation techniques. Then, it’s just part of your routine (we miss you, Jack Bauer).
So this lady can be forgiven for not maximizing her sexy potential in this picture. But you can tell the potential is there. There’s nothing wrong here that some improved decision making and maybe a little attention to that lazy eye can’t fix. Haters be damned, she makes the list.
Tiffany here was rounded up as part of one of the biggest prostitution busts in Arizona history. Despite facing multiple charges ranging from prostitution to money laundering, she appears to be kind of alright with her new found status as an inmate. That’s admirable, we suppose
Sara here was nabbed for being part of the same prostitution ring that Tiffany was involved with. Why are these ladies so amped up about getting arrested? Were they handing out door prizes at county that night or something?
We have absolutely no information on this woman. No name, no arrest info, nothing. Is looking like an in-her-prime Diane Lane a punishable offense? If so, throw the book at her. Christ, is she even wearing clothes? We’re not sure who snapped this mugshot, but there’s probably a career in photography waiting for whoever it was.