Uzbek model/comedian Natasha Kizmet, the so-called “Borat with Boobs,” e-mailed us excitedly (she does everything excitedly) the other day with big news:
“My movie Stripper: Natasha Kizmet is now on NETFLIX STREAMING! (23 million homes!) And, as of today, it is already number one in the ‘mockumentary’ category ahead of Spinal Tap!”
That is just great. Really good news, and we are happy for her. The only way this could get any better, we said, is if she were to have new pictures of herself in her underwear. And indeed she does! They’re at the bottom of this page (they come from NatashaKizmet.com and were taken by Dr. Dan). But first, some personal questions.
A nickname I have had: Miss Wow! This is what I hear all the time! I like it!
The worst movie I have ever seen: I loved Borat — did not like Bruno!
I’m a nerd about: My closet — it should be all in order, and clean.
Please worship my: My sense of humor, I am funny — don’t you think so?
Try not to stare at my: My nipples — they are always hard, and show through almost any bra!
I would rather have a root canal than: Uncomfortable shoes.
Sex is: Four legs under a blanket. If it is more than four legs, it is group sex!
My greatest weakness: The third bottle of champagne on a first date!
If I went into porn, my name would be: Flying Squirrel. People love the way I say “sgwerl” so it would work to say “would you love to fuck this Flying Sqwerl?
If I was a Bond girl, my name would be: Natasha Kizmet! I am standing by!
Food that turns me on: Oysters — not Rocky Mountain ones!
I don’t understand why people think I’m: Faking my accent! I am really from Uzbekistan.
Something cool about having boobs: It helps my balance when I wear really high heeled shoes, and it really helps to fill out a 34E underwire laced bra!
I cried unnecessarily the day: I got my US citizenship!
When I throw a party I make sure to have: Everyone play Mad Libs — it can get pretty naughty!
The funniest comedian is: Larry David.
People tell me I look like: Scarlett Johansson, Kendra Wilkinson, Jessica Biel, Barbara Eden in the I Dream of Jeannie Days.
I’m too sexy for my: My old business suits! They are history!
I wish people would stop Tweeting about their: Every move — Do I really care that you just lost your virginity? On second thought, maybe I do!
When I was 8 years old I thought I would be: An actress!
Stay out of my way when: I am angry!
I’ll let you know I’m feeling frisky by: Patting your butt.
My super power: My eyes! Are you still staring at my boobs?
I am completely freaked out by: Flying without access to multiple cocktails!
The most unpleasant word or phrase in the English language is: English is not my first language They are all pretty pleasant to me!
A type of ladies’ underwear I don’t enjoy wearing is: None of them, I love lingerie!
I will never understand why men: Masturbate when they have a hot woman.
My most recent wardrobe malfunction was: Not a malfunction, I did it on purpose!
My relationship with spectator sports is: I love the Denver Nuggets. I dress extra sexy when I go to the games, and Rocky, their mascot LOVES ME!
The most exciting thing I did today was: Do an interview for Playboy’s Smoking Jacket!
My secret weapon: Chanel No. 5.
If I were to go that way, my lesbian lover would be: I can’t imagine that!
Song I am most likely to play turned up to 11: Nero’s “Innocence, you will never be mine.”
My backup career if this whole “being pretty” thing doesn’t work out: Interior Designer — I already do it great! Why not get paid?
On the worst bender of my life, I: French kissed my female cousin in front of my father in Uzbekistan!
The best thing I learned from an ex-boyfriend was: How to pack luggage properly! I did a great job when I was leaving him!
The first time I can remember feeling sexy was: When my mother curled my hair with a curling iron for the first time. I was 9.
The most rough-and-tumble outdoor activity I do is: Play badminton.
A grown man should not: have brown spots on their underwear, even though most do!