Natasha Kizmet Reviews Bikinis, Bras and Lotions. Oh Boy

Remember when you were a kid, and you discovered lingerie advertisements for the first time? Maybe you caught a glimpse in your mother’s copy of Vogue or Glamour; and before you know it you were intercepting the Victoria’s Secret catalog. Whatever the case, the duality was fascinating: This is a product women care about, like a tampon or a curling iron, and yet — the male brain cares about it very much as well. Pictures of flawless bodies wearing lingerie or bikinis theoretically allow a woman to ponder purchasing these items; meanwhile, a man who happens to see such pictures ponders how much he likes looking at such pictures.

How about reviews, then? Doesn’t a woman really want the scoop, girl to girl, on how bras and panties fit? And men — well, what the hell, you’ll watch that, won’t you? Think of the things you’ve sat through — Suzanne Somers’ Thighmaster commercials, yoga shows, The Price is Right — just for a glimpse of some action. Watching a 34E model/actress with an outrageous Uzbek accent putting a Victoria’s Secret through its paces? Yes, please.

We start, though with her latest video, in which she is reviewing some kind of lotions or creams. Reminds us of the old shampoo commercial — which side is tingling?

In the two videos that came before, she reviewed a bikini and a bra-n-panty set. Here you go:

Any shoe fetishists in the crowd? This one’s for you, you sick bastards: