The Memorable Miss Mileena Hayes

Mileena HayesWhen you meet Mileena Hayes, don’t ask “Don’t I know you from somewhere…?” She hates this question, and more to the point, if you think you know her from somewhere, it’s because you do. Her resume is as long as your arm and she really doesn’t have the time to go through the whole damn thing with every guy she meets.

Videos? She tells us Method Man, Wu Tang, Lloyd Banks, Trey Songz and a half dozen more.

Magazines? Let’s see, Smooth, King, XXL, Lowrider Girls, BlackMen, Maxim en Espanol… it goes on and on.

“But Girlwatcher,” you say, “I don’t like hip hop. I don’t read rap magazines. I really don’t know her from somewhere.”

Then you will not be using the line “don’t I know you from somewhere,” will you? Q.E.D. Sheesh.

September Carrino

Henceforth you will know her from The Smoking Jacket. And you will be better for it. To keep up with her after this, follow and friend her at,,, and

Birthplace: Caquas, PR

Current location: Connecticut

Measurements: 32DD 23 39

I think my best physical feature is: The total package

Men say my best physical feature is: Eyes and lips

Tattoos: I have a tattoo on my lower back. 2 symbol I took out the Chinese dictionary w/ 3 music notes surrounding it, It means Music Dreams which stands for “Music is the keys 2 my dreams”

Sexiest woman ever: Any woman who has confidence is sexy but if I had to name one it would have to be Aaliyah

Sexiest man ever: Barack Obama and what he represents all in itself, it’s a movement, and that’s sexy to me.

My best trait is: My loyalty.

My worst habit is: Leaving the cap off the toothpaste.

I wish more men would: Cook.

The key to my heart is: Giving me a long butt massage. Every day.

Compliment me on: Everything!

Pet name for my boobs: The don’t have names. Any suggestions?

What I love about my boobs: They’re soft. Like butt cheeks!

When it comes to my body, please do: Kiss me everywhere.

When it comes to my body, please do not: Grab my ass as I’m passing by if I don’t even know you. Try this and bad things will happen to you. I have a gun permit.

Most important rule or rules of bedroom etiquette: Foreplay. Licking, touching, sucking, and kissing.

Physical feature I like to show off: I’m very confident, I like to show it all off! But my stomach is probably my favorite thing. I have a 23 inch waist.

The sexiest outfit I will wear in public: A small, form-fitting dress.

Something I will wear the bedroom if you are deserving: Any type of lingerie that shows off my curves, with thigh highs. Thigh highs make me feel so sexy.

A superficial thing I am attracted to: Shoes.

My favorite physical feature on a man: He should have nice lips and a sexy upper body.

My favorite trait in a man: Respect for his mother.

A man will impress me if: He puts the seat down after using the bathroom.

A man will turn me off if: He has bad breath.

A man will disappoint me if: He flirts with other women. I hate a flirt!

The simplest thing you can do to make me happy is: Love me as I am.

I will not even give you a second look if: Your hair is longer than mine.

Something stupid men do or say when they first meet me: They say, “Don’t I know you from somewhere…?”

I will sleep with you when: I feel you deserve it.

I will never sleep with you if: You’ve been with everybody. That’s the biggest turn-off.

Don’t you dare: Disrespect me!

The best date I ever had was: I Went to get ice cream when he asked me to drive his brand new Mercedes convertible. I was 15, and I thought I was so cool.

I am the ideal woman because: I aim to please! I’ll have you singing “My Chick Bad” by Ludacris.

I am the best in the world at: Everything I set my mind to.

In my opinion, astrology is: I feel like the characteristics for each sign are right on, but I don’t follow daily horoscopes.

If you come to my house, don’t criticize: Anything. Period.

The last movie that made me laugh: Don’t Be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood (I saw it yesterday.)

The last movie that made me cry: What Dreams May Come

My philosophy of life: The purpose of life is a life of purpose.

I should be on the cover of Playboy because: I deserve it!