THE INTERNET NEARLY EXPLODED about a day ago, all because someone instagrammed some breasts that didn’t belong to a celebrity you’ve never heard of.
The celebrity is Michelle Keegan, a soap opera actress in England who is routinely drooled over by the male population every time she hits the beach in a bikini. We don’t know anything else about her, and frankly it’s not that important whether she dates a footballer you’ve never heard of or was in a girl group you’ve ever heard of.
England. It’s like a whole different country over there.
Gist of the story is this, though: A pair of naked breasts in a soapy bathtub showed up on Michelle Keegan‘s Instagram for a moment — according to The Sun, your source for quality journalism boobs and boob-related news, is was just “SIX SECONDS” — and England went apeshit.
Michelle flew into damage control mode, explaining that the fairly spectacular breasts that had caused the furor were not actually hers, but were posted to her feed by a friend who had her password. Meanwhile, skeptical Sherlock Holmeses got out their magnifying glasses and began a debate over whether these spectacular breasts were Michelle’s, with many people of the opinion that they were nowhere near spectacular enough.
Millions of men confirming that they’d chop off their left pinkies for a peek at what’s in your bikini — this must have been hell, sheer hell for poor Michelle, who merely wants to be a TV star. Oh, the curse of celebrity.
But do not fret — we won’t let you go away empty-handed. No, you’re always a winner here at TSJ, and the booby prizes we hand out are made with actual boobs. Here’s Michelle on the beach, in both paparazzi and photo-shoot situations, from 2012.