Not long ago, we praised the excellence of Dutch women, especially the supermodel kind. Well, supermodels ought to be pretty excellent no matter where they’re from, but it’s inarguable that, on a per-capita basis, the Netherlands pumps out way more supermodels and models than any other country. The Netherlands ranks 62nd in terms of population. If it were a U.S. state, it would come in fifth behind California, Texas, New York and Florida. So how come there’s so many world-class hot chicks coming out of the Netherlands?
We don’t know. Something in the water? This would take years of scrutiny (combing through literally tons of old Swimsuit Issues and Victoria’s Secret catalogs) and some lab work (“Open up, Miss Kroes, we need to take a swab — for science”).
We’d much rather just study the girls one by one — but even that presents a problem. They’re coming at us too fast! We were looking at these new photos of Marloes Horst and Sylvie van der Vaart and having trouble deciding which of them was most important to serve you today. Marloes or Sylvie? Sylvie or Marloes?
Conclusion: Fuck it, do ‘em both. Because next week there will be another smokin’ hot batch of Dutch femininity that needs your attention. Sometimes you just have to go Double Dutch and move on.
Inevitably, when we use “Double Dutch” to refer to people, we have to wonder… when they do the double dutch, is that really them dancing? We’ve never figured that out. Liz Phair thought so in 1994, and as you can see with this VHS-duped video from 120 Minutes the woman was ahead of her time. We have celebrity upskirt and pokies years before these things became the primary content of the internet. This from the woman who had a nipslip on her own album cover. This will be your earworm for the day, enjoy: