Kelly Brook’s Pert Bum is Unstoppable

Kelly Brook has it going on! In addition to consoling her nation after their World Cup fizzle—her way of consoling involves bikinis and beaches—she’s launching some weird new fitness program for Reebok and hyping her film Piranha 3-D. (She’ll also be appearing without bikini or sportsbra in the September issue of a famous men’s magazine, but you’ll hear enough about that in the weeks ahead.)

First the exercise thing—looks like a giant rubber band; stretch it while wiggling about and presto! you look like Kelly Brook. Kelly: “OK, gells, are you ready to do the Jukari Fit to Flex wotkout?” Girls: “YEEEEESSSS!” Kelly Brook is so hot even the heterosexual workout ladies in the commercial are turned on watching her swirl her pert bum.

Kelly is also the lead babe in the Wild Wild Girls, the crazy wet T-shirt specialists in the film Piranha 3-D. She’s 30 and British, the film is about college kids on spring break in Arizona—but somehow it works.

Well, here’s how “it” works—Kelly Brook is famous for, well, being hot. She is not, as is often reported, a “Page 3 Girl” in the usual sense—yes, she appeared in the Daily Star early in her career, but she didn’t pose topless. In fact she has only once posed completely topless, although she appeared hella topless in the great bad film Survival Island, which she made with longtime boyfriend/fiance Billy Zane. She and Zane broke up, leaving Brian Austin Green in sole possession of “Luckiest Man in Hollywood” title. And despite what you have read around World Cup time, she is not really a WAG—her most recent boyfriend was rugby player Danny Cipriani, but we can’t think rugby really counts. She is just really damn hot. She wins all sorts of “best body in the UK” polls, and it’s not just because she has amazing breasts—nope, that pert bum is pretty much unmatched, as well. Here’s her previous Reebok spot:

It was actually a remake of a Reebok ad that starred the pert bums of several women. But that’s the power of Kelly Brook—all by its lonesome her ass makes a sexier commercial than the asses of 10 women:

Reebok’s EasyTone ads were famously controversial—men loved them, women not so much. The pitch was that these shoes will firm up your butt, so the commercials quite naturally zoomed in on a lot of really nice butts, like this:

Fine, that’s objectification, not what all women want from a company that is asking them to buy shoes. You would think that this might make the critics happier, then—instead of objectifying her butt, this one has her boobs conversing about all the attention her butt is getting. Surprisingly enough, women didn’t like this one either—although men did:

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