There There, Nurse Kari Nautique Will Make It All Better

Kari Nautique

NOTE: Kari Nautique is not a nurse. It’s just a photo we liked due to the amazing cleavage.

Let’s move on.

Boy, we thought, have we got a girl for you. This Kari Nautique, a recent Cybergirl, is really something. Sure she looks good in pictures, but you need to get to know the real Kari. You need to know about all her obsessions, fears, fetishes and underwear. We did this Q&A and it’s entertaining as hell but when we were poking around for some eye candy to go with it we discovered she does a YouTube vlog somewhat regularly. Like this:

So what we’re saying is, read this interview. Soak it up. Study it. Learn all you can about Kari Nautique from it (there will be a test) because she is truly awesome. And then if you want eeeeven more Kari, go to her YouTube channel. (You can also feed your Kari habit by following her on Twitter @Kari_Nautique and liking her on Facebook.)

A nickname I have had (how did you get it, and did you like it?): My family has always called me “Kari Bear” but I’ve never had a really cool nickname.

The worst movie I have ever seen (and why): I haven’t seen it, but I imagine Twilight is the worst out there. I did see Titanic 2, but Twilight would probably be worse.

I’m a nerd about: Fantasy and Sci Fi. Any movie, book, or video game about magic, time travel, wizardry, aliens, or zombies I’m in love with.

Please worship my: Cooking! If you ever get lucky enough to try a meal.

Try not to stare at my: Oh, please, stare away! I wasn’t blessed with this body so I could hide it away in a sweater.

I would rather have a root canal than: Have someone touch my belly-button. I actually have a strong phobia of anything touching my belly-button–it’s called omphalophobia.

Sex is: A difficult thing to earn with me. Getting to be a notch in my bedpost doesn’t come easy! I’m very picky. But if you do ‘get lucky’ enough, it’s also pretty damn hot.

My greatest weakness: Homeless puppies. If I didn’t volunteer regularly at Warm Hearts Pet Rescue, then I’d have about ten dogs right now.

If I went into porn, my name would be: I don’t know how you get hotter than a name like Nautique. And yes, it’s my real and legal name!

If I was a Bond girl, my name would be: I still can’t come up with anything hotter than my real name.

Food that turns me on: Toblerone chocolate bars. YUM!

I don’t understand why people think I’m: Easy. Maybe back in the day there were a few one night stands, but I definitely set the record straight now.

Something cool about having boobs: I love waking up in the morning and looking down at my boobies. They’re just awesome! I usually get caught feeling myself up and I have no idea that I’m doing it.

I cried unnecessarily the day: My dachshund Archer turned 1. I rescued him when he was only 2 months old, and we went through some hard times together, so when I bought his first bag of ‘dog’ food instead of ‘puppy’ food, I kinda lost it in the pet store. Definitely looked like a crazy lady.

When I throw a party I make sure to have: My hookah lit up! (Tobacco only, of course) I love my hookah collection and they’re always a fun social thing to do at a party.

The funniest comedian is: Bill Burr. Dude makes me laugh until I vomit.

People tell me I look like: Lately I’ve gotten a young Madonna a lot, but I don’t see it.

I’m too sexy for my: Bra. Who wears one anyways these days? Hard nipples are totally fashionable.

I wish people would stop Tweeting about their: “Follow me” or “RT so I can get more followers” is ANNOYING! Seriously, that’s why you don’t have any followers.

When I was 8 years old I thought I would be: A veterinarian. By the time I turned 14 though I remember breaking up with my boyfriend and crying over the phone because I told him I would be famous and he didn’t believe me.

Stay out of my way when: I’m hungry. I will tear down walls for some good food when I’m hungry!

I’ll let you know I’m feeling frisky by: Usually I tweet frisky pictures when I feel frisky.

My super power: I’m almost entirely deaf in my left ear. I love it though, because when I need a good night’s sleep I can just lay on my right one and everything is muffled.

I am completely freaked out by: The belly-button thing. DON’T touch it. Ick.

The most unpleasant word or phrase in the English language is: ‘Moist’ is pretty gross. Makes me think of mold…

Favorite underwear: Black lace thongs from Victoria’s Secret Pink collection. I have about 50 of the same pair. They don’t show through tight dresses and they’re comfy.

I will never understand why men: Don’t just ask a woman out when they want her. Go for what you want, guys, before someone else gets it.

My most recent wardrobe malfunction was: My boobies are always overflowing. They’re just poppin’ out all the time these days.

My relationship with spectator sports is: I can’t live without football Sundays and I will always support my home team the Jacksonville Jaguars!

The most interesting compliment I ever got from a stranger is: A guy in at the dog park once told me my pup and I look alike. Not sure if it’s a compliment or not, but I think my dachshund is pretty darn handsome!

The most exciting thing I did today was: Working on a movie set. I’ve always loved modeling, but the acting world is very new to me and I’m pretty excited about everything that happens on set.

My secret weapon: Being underestimated is the best weapon I could ever be given. I’m pretty high up in the IQ department and I’m not a pansy if I need to defend myself.

If I were to go that way, my lesbian lover would be: Jessa Hinton. Coolest, nicest, hottest blonde I’ve ever met.

Song I am most likely to play turned up to 11: Hammertime! Leola Bell and I do the ‘Hammertime Dance’ every time it comes on.

My backup career if this whole “being pretty” thing doesn’t work out: I have a degree in skin care and I studied writing and English for 4 years, so I’ve got a few back up plans up my sleeve.

Last time I ate way too much was: Dinner last night. Whew! Somebody stop letting me order baby back ribs at Chili’s.

The best thing I learned from an ex-boyfriend was: that I was way better off without him

The most rough-and-tumble outdoor activity I do is: Mountain biking with my dad. Or surfing, wakeboarding, snowboarding… I love outdoor activities.

A grown man should not: Allow a woman to clean up after him. You’re an ADULT, learn how to clean up after yourself.