Just Be for Real: 10 Comics Babes

IF ONLY REAL GIRLS HAD SUPER POWERS, google eyes and gamma ray musculatures. It’s not an easy list to come up with, but here are 10 shapely comics heroines. In our universe, they’re all on our team.

1. ISABELLE “DIZZY” CORDOVA (AKA “THE GIRL”)

Dizzy Cordova’s life changed irrevocably the moment she stepped out of prison and accepted Agent Graves’ attache. Trained as a Minuteman, she proved to be a key player. But is Dizzy really part of the team or merely Graves’ pawn? Her true purpose is a mystery. A woman of mystery with a gun: Sexypants.

2. BLACK WIDOW (NATALIA “NATASHA” ALIANOVNA ROMANOVA, AKA NATASHA ROMANOFF)

Russian women are notoriously beautiful, da? Natalia/Natasha is surely no exception. Plus the girl gets around. She’s shown up all over the Marvel Universe, from The Avengers, to The Defenders to The Champions, S.H.I.E.L.D and The Thunderbolts. Our friend Scarlett plays her in Iron Man 2. Did your mind just go to the phone pic? I hope it did. Swill some vodka. Move down the list.

3. TANK GIRL

Girl lives out of her tank. She undertook various cagey missions before being declared an outlaw for her sexual penchants and substance enjoyment. Her BF: Booga, the mutant kangaroo. Absurd, anarachic, psychedelic… what’s not to love?

4. JESSICA JONES

Ms. Jones was on the scene when Peter Parker was bit by a spider, but she only became radioactive herself after a driving mishap (a military convo spilled radioactive chemicals atop her and her family). Her family was killed, but shes got charged with fantastical strength. Her powers: superstrength, flight (so-so), and limited invulnerability.

5. RAMONA “RAMMY” FLOWERS

She’s hot in that classic bug-eyed way. And it’s okay to crush on her, she’s totally 24 years old. Girl’s got a shady NYC past, and she gets by as a “ninja delivery girl.” She’s got subpace in her purse and she uses a humungo mallet as a weapon. Sometimes her head glows.

6. JUBILATION “JUBILEE” LEE

Chica’s got the best name ever. But she’s more than kickass in name alone–Jubilee can use her powers to make fireworks. Plus she’s got cool buds: One of her main pals is Wolverine. So now she’s a vampire. That’s no adimantium, true, but fangs. Hello.

7. SHE-HULK

In January 1981, Jennifer Susan Walters was shot at by mobsters. Shit. But then her cousin, Bruce Banner, gave her some of his blood via a transfusion to save her life. What? So she survived. Yes! Except: The gamma radiation in his blood turned her into She-Hulk. Yowza. Now she is one hot green mamasita. Don’t get mad, She-Hulk, get even.

8. POWER GIRL (AKA KARA ZOR-L / KAREN STARR)

More than just another buxom babe in a cape, Power Girl, who heralds from the same planet as Super Man (yeah they’re cousins), she hangs with Supergirl and gets aggro with the fighting. Best of all: Power Girl can fly.

9. PSYLOCKE (AKA ELIZABETH “BETSY” BRADDOCK)

This lady is a survivor. She’s been kidnapped, brainwashed, got cybernetic eyes stuck into her face, she’s been stuck in a coma, and died started fresh again.

10. WONDER WOMAN

Lady’s a princess of the Amazons with super powers ranging from superstrength, flight, and spangled underpinnings. Wait, that’s not a superpower. It’s more superduper. Wonder Woman, like Putin, also posses a natural rapport with animals. She’s a fighter and the ultimate comics babe.

Related on The Smoking Jacket:
Cosmic Love: 10 Smoking Ladies from Outer Space 
The Smoking Jacket Talks to Chester Brown 

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