Jordan Carver’s Guide to Oktoberfest

Jordan Carver OktoberfestOktoberfest started last Saturday and runs through Monday, October 3. In other words it’s in full swing, and who better to share thoughts and tips than a Bavarian babe with a blouse full of goodies.

Yes, lucky readers, Jordan Carver is back with all-new curve-enhancing dirndls, and we got pictures. (With a solid week to go, I think she will have many more pictures from Oktoberfest; visit her official blog to stay abreast of her, well, you know…)

Jordan Carver Oktoberfest

If I’m throwing an Oktoberfest party in my back yard, what beer should I serve to make you come to it?
Honestly I taste no difference between the beers. Probably because I’m not usually into beer. But bizarrely I do like the Oktoberfest beer—all of them. If you want to be authentic, you need to know that the beer served during the Munich folk festival may only be served by the six Munich breweries: Augustiner, Hacker Pschorr, Hofbräu, Löwenbräu, Paulaner and Spaten. And the Oktoberfest beer is stronger than other beer.

Jordan Carver Oktoberfest

What’s your favorite food to eat at Oktoberfest?
If you ever have the opportunity to visit the Oktoberfest you have to try everything. The Bavarian cuisine is so delicious and hearty. Therefore it’s hard to choose my favorite dish. But here are my Wiesn food tips for a delicious day:

  • Breakfast: Two Münchener Weißwürste (veal sausage) with sweet mustard
  • Lunch: Wiesn hendl (half chicken) with some potato salad.
  • Dinner: Spanferkel (suckling pig) with knödel (potato or bread dumplings)

I also like to cook some Bavarian food at home. My speciality is kaiserschmarrn—a light, caramelized pancake made from a sweet batter baked in butter. You can vary it with nuts, cherries, plums, apple jam or small pieces of apple, or caramelized raisins and chopped almonds. The pancake is cut into pieces while frying, shredded after preparation and usually sprinkled with powdered sugar, served hot with apple or plum sauce. Kaiserschmarrn is actually a dessert, but you can eat it as a main dish as well for diner or lunch.

Jordan Carver Oktoberfest

What is so sexy about a dirndl?
Well, I think the dirndl is so sexy because it fits every type figure. It’s small on the hips, and pushes your “balcony” like crazy. You can get it in any style, color, short or long.

Are dirndls just for Oktoberfest, or can they be worn at other times?
Oh no, you always can wear a dirndl, especially here in Bavaria—for example, you can wear it at a wedding. But usually the people wear it only for the festival. And you don’t own just one dirndl; you have to have a different one for each event!

Jordan Carver Oktoberfest

Can you just walk into a store in Munich and buy a dirndl, or do you have to have one made?
We have so many stores here in Munich where you can buy a Dirndl. But if you are looking for a unique and special one, you have to have it custom made. This year I had one made by which was tailored to fit my body. (It’s the gray-green dirndl below). If you were to buy such a dress you might have to spend about $2000 or more.

Jordan Carver Oktoberfest

When it comes to Oktoberfest clothing, we men get the short end of the stick—the dirndl is very sexy, yet lederhosen look pretty funny. At least, that’s the American view—what do you think, are lederhosen sexy?
Well, I’m truly a lederhosen fan. It’s so sexy to see all the men from around the world wearing lederhosen. It doesn’t matter if it’s a Chinese guy or an Italian, it still looks manly to me. Well, ok, it’s both manly and funny. I think everybody should own a lederhosen—even I have one.

Do you like the Oktoberfest music?
Yes, Bavarian music and especially the Ocktoberfest music is so much fun! It always gets me in the right mood for the festival. My favorite is Olaf Henning’s “Cowboy und Indianer”.

Jordan Carver Oktoberfest

Has Oktoberfest become too popular? Is it overrun with drunken foreigners?
Listen, Oktoberfest is a beer festival—every year the tourists come from all over the world, and of course the people get drunk. But they are not just there to get drunk at Oktoberfest, they also want to see the beautiful architecture in Munich. We got lots of Australians at Oktoberfest, and the second weekend is typically the Italian weekend. All the Italian guys coming and celebrate with us. Munich is a “multikulti” city, and that’s one of the things I like so much about it.

Regarding all the beautiful frauleins, what can you tell an American male visiting Oktoberfest—does he have a chance? What can he do to get to know these dirndl-clad Bavarian goddesses? Or do we have a reputation as drunken idiots?
I’m pretty sure the German girls love the American men. Let me say, it’s always the same: You always want to have something which you can’t have. And don’t forget that the German girls might be drunk too. But here is a little tip: Don’t be too pushy, and don’t drink too much if you want a German girl.

What are some useful German terms to know at Oktoberfest?
At Oktoberfest, you ought to speak Bavarian, which is different from standard German. Here are some good ones to know:

  • Beer with Sprite Bavarian: “Radler;” German: “Helles mit Zitronenlimo
  • 1 liter beer Bavarian: “Maß;” German: “Ein liter bier
  • Kiss Bavarian: “Busserl;” German: “Kuss
  • Horny Bavarian: “Gamsig;” German: “Paarungsinteresse
  • Get lost Bavarian: “Schleich de;” German: “Verschwinde
  • Tap a beer barrel Bavarian: “ozapfa;” German: “Bierfass anstrechen

ALERT/BONUS: Jordan Carver met up with a friend at Oktoberfest, a fellow pneumatic (34G or thereabouts) dirndl-buster named Venera. Here’s one picture; check and Jordan’s Official Blog for more:
Jordan Carver and Venera Oktoberfest