It’s Christmas Eve and we have Jordan Carver for you.

We don’t need to say much more than that, do we? Jordan Carver, Austrian busenstar, dressed up in pretty red Christmassy lingerie for your enjoyment. However, seeing as there’s more going on in Jordan’s life we ought to just clue you in on a couple of things. For instance, Jordan has a calendar that is every bit as, you know, hwaaah! as you would expect. Just look at this brief video from the calendar shoot:

She’s also messing around with ancient Asian body business — and no, we’re not referring to her yoga DVD. No, it’s this:

You didn’t expect that, did you? Jordan Carver coming at you with the old Daffy Duck-style “Guard! Turn! Parry! Dodge! Spin! Ha! Thrust!…”

She’s a woman of many talents, that Jordan Carver. But let’s not forget her greatest talents, and those be that which are on display in this here holiday-themed lingerie. So stuff your stocking, trim your tree, and when you settle down for your long winter’s nap tonight — may visions of Jordan Carver dance in your head.

Related on The Smoking Jacket:
Jordan Carver Has Huge Oktoberfests
Johnny Depp Appears to Be Amazed by Jordan Carver’s Talents on Set