We’ll take a break from some of our Olympics-babe coverage to have a look at the real news of the day, which is of course celebrities breaking up.
No, not RPattz and KStew. As you may have heard, Johnny Depp’s marriage to Vanessa Paradis recently experienced le meltdown, and he reportedly ran into the consoling arms of bisexual hottie Amber Heard.
Now, if these pictures are to be believed, Depp is bouncing fully into the consoling breasts of Jordan Carver. We haven’t seen Jordan in these parts for a little while, but we’re glad she’s hitting the big time. We knew she was destined for it — something about her eyes. Her huge eyes.
Oh, and just to clarify that previous paragraph: These pictures are most certainly not to be believed. Jordan is hanging out here with a Johnny Depp impersonator on the set of the film Who Killed Johnny? We do not know anything about this movie other than the fact that it features a Johnny Depp impersonator and Jordan Carver’s massive cleavage. Sounds pretty good so far.