Bridget Blonde Can Has Cheezburger. Any Time She Wants.

Bridget Blonde

WE’LL START OUT BY SAYING that Bridget Blonde has one hell of a Tumblr, so if you Tumbl and you aren’t getting enough sexy in your timeline you should follow her there. What else? Well, she models her tits off (just kidding, they are very much on), appearing on covers of tattoo magazines with great regularity, and she also has a clothing line, called The Blonde Locks, which sells stuff so cool she would wear it. You’ll want to like her on Facebook and follow her on Twitter as well.

She identifies herself as “cake eater” with “a body like milk” but as we found out the way to truly impress her is mastery of the all-beef patty, special sauce, lettuce and cheese. (If that sounded dirty to you then you should be ashamed.) Gentlemen, start your grills.

The worst movie I have ever seen (and why): Innkeeper — low budget horror always sucks.

I’m a nerd about: CHEESEBURGERS.

Please worship my: Legs.

Try not to stare at my: BOOBS… duhhhh!

I would rather have a root canal than: Sit in stopped traffic on the 101 or the 405.

Sex is: FUN!

My greatest flaw: Impatience.

If I was a Bond girl, my name would be: Honey Ryder.

Food that turns me on: CAKE.

I don’t understand why people think I’m: Unapproachable.

Something cool about having boobs: I can rule the world.

When I throw a party I make sure to have: Party favors.

The funniest comedian is: Jim Gaffigan.

I wish people would stop Tweeting about: Things they dislike.

When I was 8 years old I thought I would be: A marine biologist.

Stay out of my way when: Poo Bear (my dog) pulls me on my skateboard.

I’ll let you know I’m feeling frisky by: Getting into some lingerie to seduce you.

My super power: I know what you’re thinking.

I am completely freaked out by: Finding other people’s hair on or around me.

The most unpleasant word or phrase in the English language is: C-U-N-T.

I will never understand why men: Fart and don’t roll down the window?!

My most recent wardrobe malfunction was: When I was surfing in Hawaii — my bikini top and I were fighting.

My relationship with spectator sports is: Non-existent.

The most exciting thing I did today was: I ate mushrooms while camping in the wilderness on the North Shore of Hawaii.

My secret weapon: I use my brain.

If I were to go that way, my lesbian lover would be: Angelina Jolie back in the Girl, Interrupted days — she looked like a lot of fun that I’d like to have.

Song I am most likely to play turned up to 11: “And We Danced” by Macklemore because it is AMAZING and makes everyone dance, smile, laugh, and forget about anything negative going on.

My backup career if this whole “being pretty” thing doesn’t work out: Sell more t-shirts. I own a clothing brand, The Blonde Locks. Time to hustle.

Something my parents made me do that still traumatizes me today: 20 push-ups if I didn’t say “yes sir, no sir, yes ma’am, no ma’am”.

The best thing I learned from an ex-boyfriend was: Sometimes you outgrow people.

The first time I can remember feeling sexy was: When I started cheerleading — I might have been an early bloomer, haha!

The most rough-and-tumble outdoor activity I do is: Warrior dash.

A grown man should not: Curse at his mother.