No, really, they are totally fake. I made them with Photoshop. And might I add that I am not good with Photoshop.

See, the babe news of the day — and week — and month — is that Scarlett Johansson’s cell phone has been hacked and nude pictures of her have been posted online. Scarlett has for several years been leading the charge for ample-bosomed actresses in Hollywood, a charge I applaud, so finally seeing her naked is a tantalizing prospect, to say the least.

And the soon-to-be-removed pictures are really her, I am sure of it. You can see them at Drunkenstepfather or UnratedPerez, but not for long, I think. Scarlett has reportedly already enlisted the help of the FBI (which might actually stand for Female Body Inspector after all) to find out how these pictures were leaked. Call me Kreskin, but I also imagine she is enlisting lawyers to send nasty cease-and-desists.

I could post the pictures here, but in no time they’d be eaten by an otter. I’ve seen it happen before, and it ain’t pretty.

Instead I bring you completely fake Scarlett Johansson pictures. Stay away, otter.