We solve a lot of riddles, here at TSJ. You could call TSJ a regular Matlock — plenty our staff writers’ moms already do.
FBI, NASA, the Inter Gallactic Alliance… they’re all over us. They want what we got. They want our intel. Our resources are thinned from all the backlog of volunteer work we do for these guys.
But we’re trying to crack this one case. So, like, why does Paulina Gretzky have her dad’s number (99) tattooed right over her vag? Is it to dizzy the dudes who hang around down there? OMG META GRETZKY SEX.
Whatever’s going on since all this was uncovered, lo a year or so ago, we’re happy to keep thinking about it. We’re mulling this over. We’re just trying to be thorough.