The Smoking Jacket

Ballbreaker: Mercedes Terrell

Posted 12/14/2010 at 12:00 pm by

Mercedes TerrellWe ask a sexy babe what pisses her off. Today’s Ballbreaker: Miss Supercross Mercedes Terrell.

Yuck Mouth

I was cursed with an extremely good sense of smell. I can smell old man breath from across a room. You know what old man breath is…it’s that stale old coffee smell mixed with tooth decay and the rotten meat that’s been stuck between their teeth for a decade. Here is a hint folks: When you see someone physically leaning away from you when you’re having a conversation, take note, they are not stretching their neck or back. When someone you’re talking to reaches in their pocket and offers you a piece of gum, take it! Learn your lesson and never leave the house without a pack of mints – nobody wants to smell what you had for lunch last week.

Casino Babies

Seriously, people, what is wrong with you? Are you really so addicted to gambling that you have to bring your child to the casino where the air is filled with smoke, the slot machines are loud and obnoxious, there are drunk people pinballing off every hallway wall, and people are engaging in borderline illegal activities? On top of all this, you’ve got hookers leaning in to tickle your baby’s chin – if the little guy breaks out the next day, I’m sorry to have to tell you it’s not chicken pox. Get a sitter!

Ripe Race Fans

I’ve been modeling for over 6 years now and touring with Monster Energy Supercross for the past year as Miss Supercross. Supercross is a fast-growing sport, a dirt motorcycle race held in the largest professional football and baseball stadiums. Fans tailgate in the parking lot, and the beer is always flowing; as you can imagine, this often gives some of the more “outgoing” male fans the courage to take off their shirts. Now I don’t understand the urge to show off a beer gut and sorry prison tattoos, and I wouldn’t care except that inevitably these usually heavily intoxicated, less than showered, extremely sweaty men ask to take a picture with me. I can’t say no. Remember, I have an extremely good sense of smell, so my stomach churns as the body odor hits me. In the interest of me not puking on you (and I’ve had some close calls), can I set a few rules?:

Mercedes’ Rules
1) Shower. Yes, take a shower the day of the event. And then shower again, just to be sure you don’t still smell like a turd.
2) Pics before Pints. If you’re going to get drunk, can you please get all the picture taking out of the way beforehand? This will spare the poor models having to endure your dragon breath.
3) Keep Your Shirt On, Fabio. No one wants to see your gut and lame tattoos. You won’t even want to see them – in the sober light of the next day, when you look through your pictures from the event, you’ll be glad you kept your shirt on. Particularly if your boobs are bigger than mine, which is sometimes the case.

Hangin’ Toe

No matter how hot a chick might be, it kills it when you look down at her feet and she’s wearing a sweet pair of clear plastic stripper heels with her gangly toes hanging over the edge and gripping onto the front of the shoe. I call it the Dragon Claw. Please ladies buy shoes that fit you and work with what you’ve got. If you’re cursed with a hideous set of toes then for the love of God please only wear closed-toe shoes. You’re not only making yourself look bad – think of the poor sandal!

Mercedes Terrell is Miss Supercross. You can also find her at myspace.com/therealmercedesterrell and facebook.com/therealmercedesterrell.

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8
“Ballbreaker: Mercedes Terrell”
  1. 1
    SUNSUN SweatyBooty says...
    8:26 pm on December 14th, 2010

    1) Trust me I don’t want to get too close to your mouth
    2) Don’t have kids and when I did, the best of them was on your bedroom walls
    3)Ya know what I’ve smell tits that smelled worse than my tanned ripe balls after a weekend out fishing, get a life , Lemme borrow your damn RV then and we can smell good together and we can do it DRUNK…
    4) I ain’t got no toes, they got bit off by an alligator, so blow me

  2. 2
    robertpurves says...
    8:41 pm on December 14th, 2010

    i wll like to win ok thank

  3. 3
    hk says...
    1:49 am on December 15th, 2010

    i like it

  4. 4
    Greatest Ever says...
    3:00 pm on December 15th, 2010

    #1. Try not to be a extension wearin bitch when you talk about people. Try modeling your own hair.
    #2. Nobody asked you to notice my kid or where I chose to bring them. Bitch. Mind your own business.
    #3. Goth painted finger and toenails are so 1990′s.
    #4. If I ever DO see you at one of these events, I’m gonna stick my entire hangin toe foot up your snotty little spoiled rotten bitch ass.

  5. 5
    ktm300ex says...
    2:08 am on December 16th, 2010

    She seems nice. too bad shes too much of a prissy brat to actually sit on the bike with out knocking it down/crying/breaking a nail.

    fabulous tots on the other hand.

    they couldnt even show the whole bike cause she is too much of a useless, prissy…and didnt want her fake tanning oil to react to the ballsweat of whoever’s bike that is.
    its happened to her before on another shoot….so she thinks…but it was actually her herpes flaring up from all the jersey shore club rats she bangs.

  6. 6
    Adv.S.Islam says...
    2:41 pm on January 11th, 2011

    so pretiest girls.

  7. 7
    Planeswalker says...
    11:28 pm on October 4th, 2012

    Why all the hate? Some of you got quite the nerve to bash her online like this. I dare any of you to say that stuff to her face next time. She’s just giving her honest opinion on here. No need take it personal and be all defensive.

    And btw, I’ve had the honor of meeting Mercedes in person and chatting with her. She’s awesome, really cool and down to earth. Don’t judge people before you even get to know them.

  8. 8
    EmilyB says...
    3:52 pm on December 12th, 2012

    Cedes is a sweetheart! She just (like anyone else) has an oppinion, ONE SHE WAS ASKED FOR! BTW KIDS DONT BELONG IN A CASINO

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