Ballbreaker: Leilene

Leilene Main

We ask a sexy babe what pisses her off. Today’s Ballbreaker: Leilene

Antisocial Networking

I can’t stand it when I am with a guy and he is constantly looking at his phone during dinner or at a movie. Seriously, are you striking a multi-million dollar business deal? Of course not; you’re just farting around on Twitter or Facebook. You have more friend requests than I do? Try not to let it go to your head — after all, Facebook friends aren’t real friends. You do know that, don’t you? So close the laptop and put the iPhone away when you’re with me. It’s a serious turnoff if we’re spending time together and you can’t stop socializing with people you barely know. Can it not wait until the date is over? Because if it can’t — then the date is over, problem solved.

Pottymouths or Thug Wannabes

I hate guys who swear constantly and act like they are gangsters. They think they are in some rap video and every other word is f**k this and f**k that. I would have to be super mad to let the biatch in me come out — overall, I like being a harmonious person. I want people to want to be around me. Cursing constantly just isn’t classy and it sounds so uneducated. Persistent profanity is the sign of a very limited vocabulary, or as a wise person once said, the crutch of a conversational cripple. Don’t be a conversational cripple. If I can’t have a decent, clean conversation with you, lose my number. Am I really supposed to think “I love you, dawg” is a term of endearment? I have a soft spot for bad boys, but if the baddest thing about you is your vocabulary, don’t try to play the bad boy card. I’m not saying dirty talk doesn’t have its place, but for me that place is in the bedroom. Get me in the mood, and into bed, and you can drop all the f-bombs you like.

The Ex File

The only time ex has any value is in eighth grade algebra class — otherwise, consider ex worthless. Ex does not mark the spot — are you a pirate looking for treasure? (I got your treasure right here, Jack Sparrow. Dig this chest and booty.) Remember, all your exes are exes for a reason, and so are mine. Don’t tell me you’re “just friends” now — this was a “friend” you had bent over before and with which you have had many horizontal conversations. Please. I don’t buy it for one second. I can see through that story like a cheap negligee. And I have no interest in all of us hanging out, even if she is with someone else now. What the hell would we have in common? That we both sucked face with you? Awkward!

Smack is Wack

It’s even worse if you whine about your ex, or if you feel the need to put her down and tell me how pathetic she is. It’s scary because I think, “Geez, when I’m not with you, do you talk about me like that? What if we don’t work out — will you talk smack like that about me someday?” Seriously, unless you have kids with this girl, can we get out of the past? And if you do have kids with her, do what you gotta do and skip the drama. Drama is for queens.

Spinelessness

Make your own choices, dude — don’t do what other people tell you. If I did what other people told me, I’d be an accountant living a boring life (no offense to accountants — my aunt is one). A guy who can’t make his own decisions or form his own opinions is so not sexy. I don’t care if it’s your mama, or your friends, or Fox News; cut them out and do your own thing. Grow some balls. Balls are sexy (figuratively speaking).

Delayed Text Response

If I’m having a conversation with you via text, don’t take an hour to respond. That’s a long time — I can get a quality pair of eyeglasses at the mall in about an hour. In an hour, I can order a sausage pizza and have it delivered, and then order another and have it delivered. And if you’ve watched any classic pornos, you know that “sausage pizza” might not involve pizza. If you take an hour to get back to me, I might have forgotten what we’re talking about. And if we’re sexting and you leave me hanging for an hour? Forget about it! It kills the thrill. I’m all worked up and my panties are in a wad. On the floor. Now, where did I put the number for that pizza delivery boy…?

Leilene is a television personality who has appeared on hit reality shows,television and movies including Flavor of Love, WWE Raw Diva Search, Charm School, I Love Money 2, Hotel California, Detroit Rock City and Odyssey 5. To see more of Leilene and her projects log onto leileneonline.com. When she is not on television she is a sexy mom and housewife. She is a spokesperson for Syrup Swimwear, Remedium Labs, and Ultra Automate. Photos on this page by Cassi Thomas, Geoff Sanders, Josh Lyons, Lisa Boyle, Pearl Levy and Steve Kay and Ultra Automate.

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