We ask a sexy babe what pisses her off. Today’s Ballbreaker: Dani Thompson
Some of you men think it’s cute to buy a girl teddy bears — my apartment is decorated like a retro Hollywood boudoir and teddy bears just do not fit the theme! Sure, I liked teddy bears when I was a child, mainly because I wasn’t allowed a dog. Now I have four of them, so I have plenty of fluffy things to cuddle. If you’re going to buy me toys, at least buy me sex toys! (But if you really want me to think you’re cute, buy me diamonds.)
Here’s the scenario: A girl goes out for the evening, she’s looking gorgeous. Tiny dress, killer heels and a glowing tan. She has a few glasses of champagne and ends up going home with the hottest guy in the club. It’s a fairytale romance, to be sure — until the next morning when the guy notices the the orange tan smeared all over his sheets! I always give my friends the same advice, either embrace pale and interesting or go on holiday to get your summer glow the natural way. And there’s more to it than orange sheets — there’s also the dodgy tan-between-the-fingers thing, the streaky tan that’s been rained on and the putrid smell of fake tan.
I’ve begun to think if you’re not going to post something happy in your status line, don’t post anything at all. I’m sick of your moaning about your unhappy life or this cruel world, or both. And stop airing your dirty laundry all over Facebook for everybody to see — it’s embarrassing! I am embarrassed for you even if you’re not. Have some dignity! Sincerely, Everyone you’re friends with.
By football I mean “soccer,” but in this case it doesn’t matter — stupid fans transcend language. I’m talking about the people in bars who watch football on TV and yell at the players. They can’t hear you! I understand people yelling when they’re actually at the stadium watching the game because the atmosphere can be intense — but you’re miles away from the game, yelling at a flat screen! That’s not going to have any effect whatsoever.