Ask TSJ: Giving My GF a Stripper Pole for Christmas

Ask-TSJ

LIFE IS HARD. It seems like every new day brings a new question that, try as you might, you’re just unable to find an answer for. The Smoking Jacket understands this, and we’re here to help. TSJ’s editor, Melissa Bull, and Headshots’ columnist, Mike Spry, set aside some time in their busy schedules to answer your questions in a feature we’ve cleverly named “Ask TSJ.”

This week’s incredible question comes from our friend Bob. And you know how they say a friend in need is a friend indeed.

ask tsj:

i want to give my GF pole-dancing lessons for christmas. should i?

- Bob, Charlotte, NC

MELISSA SAYS

neon cowgirl

Heya Bobby-Pal,

Is your lady’s current stripper pole broken? Does she need an upgrade? If so, this is certainly a very thoughtful gift and you should Amazon.com that shit up pronto, and put a rush on it dude, we’re nearing end-times re: Xmas cheer!

That said, if any BF of mine ever bought me a stripper pole I’d break up with myself.

Merry happytimes!

xo
Melissa

MIKE SAYS

neon cowboy

Hey Bob,

Triple Ask TSK points for the double pun on pole! But minus 5000 points for being a douche. Poll dancing? Really? Why don’t you just get her blow job lessons or an instructional video for how to properly participate in a threesome? Jesus H. Santa Claus, Bobby. The gift is for her, not you ,Grincherson. Buy her something she wants, not a fantasy you’ve had since watching Coyote Ugly with your pants around your ankles.

Buy her a vacation Bob, before she invests in a permanent vacation from you.

Mike

 

Got a question for Melissa and Mike? CLICK HERE and fire away. If we use it… your life will improve immediately.

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