Thanksgiving with Aria Giovanni, the Cleavage Gourmet

Aria GiovanniThanksgiving of course celebrates a feast at which Pilgrims broke bread with who? Indians.

Like Priya Rai? Well, no, wrong kind of Indian, but if you can get Priya Rai on a cooking show you’re in the right ballpark. Were the Pilgrims Swedish? No, but Puma Swede is Swedish and her meatballs are a welcome side dish. Thanksgiving is a holiday, you know what else is a holiday? Valentine’s day. As in Angelina Valentine. Well, no, not really as in that. Ah, just watch the clip, it’s “The Goombah Gourmet” and it’s got a kitchen full of porn stars.

One popular Thanksgiving dish is sweet potatoes, sometimes called yams. Are sweet potatoes and yams the same thing? Hell no! They are different. I looked it up on Wikipedia so it’s true. Here, Aria Giovanni shows you how she cooks her yams. Well, one yam:

In Germany, they serve bratwurst at Thanksgiving. Or would, if they celebrated Thanksgiving. And Aria’s bra is not the ‘twurst we’ve seen. Wunderbar:

Watching football? How about you let Erika Mayshawn whip up some chicken wings in her referee uniform? When you watch this one from the reverse angle you can see that she clearly breaks the plane.

You know what’s great? Spanish-speaking newscasters. Look at Keren Rios. I’d like to see her cook chicken wings in a referee uniform. Gol!

The forecast is for a big front of cumulo-nimbuses coming at you when Paola Elorza does the weather on Univision.

Although nobody forecasts more sexily than Mayte Carranco. Is her forecast accurate? Who cares — it’s the weather in Mexico, and you’re not in Mexico.

RELATED: Here’s a foreigner doing some sort of news.

Somehow this post got hijacked by boobs. Not the first time it’s happened, but it begs the question, where do we get the word “boobs?” Fortunately Marina Orlova can both explain and visually demonstrate this valuable etymological lesson.

What are boobs but breasts? And what are breasts but the succulent part of the turkey you’ll be eating on Thanksgiving? We’ve come full circle, haven’t we. Turkey is delicious, but you won’t get very far if you don’t carve it. Yes, you need a carver on turkey day.

Like, say, Jordan Carver:

Dear lord bless this food to our use and us to thy service. Happy Thanksgiving.