This is a collection of 15 great stories from some of our favorite sites around the web. Those of us in the industry call it a “link dump.” We call it “Morning Dump” because it’s early and we’re immature. Click the pics to read each article.

1. The Jeremy Lin weekend, lovely lady of the day and Roy’s ride (HotClicks)

2. The flip side of dating (Heavy)

3. Jon Stewart rips Congress’ all male birth control panel (Huffington Post)

4. 9 sports stars who came out of no where (TotalProSports)

5. ‘T-Rex trying…’ is the most delightfully sad Tumblr (UpRoxx)

6. The best Santorum Santorum headline yet (Buzzfeed)

7. 14 surefire signs you’re the creepy guy at the bar (Guy Speed)

8. 7 ways women strip men of their manhood (Guyism)

9. The 45 song Nirvana playlist for Kurt Cobain’s 45th birthday (The Campus Socialite)

10. Could you win a staring contest with Kate Upton’s boobs? (Coed Magazine)

11. 6 people who turned the tables on government surveillance (Cracked)

12. 13 priceless early Men’s magazine covers (Made Man)

13. Every face punch in Road House (Next Round)

14. Fan fight breaks out during Suns post game show (BroBible)

15. Linsanity: America’s 1st Asian stripper wearing Jeremy Lin jersey (Busted Coverage)

This is great, because Ashley has been out there grinding her flow (sorry, not actually sure what that means) for a little while now, and has had a very public Playboy dream but no luck thus far making it a reality. In the meantime she’s an extremely attractive ex-Air Force mom who really enjoys taking her clothes off (her blog is called onenakedmodel.com), and she should be recognized for and encouraged in these pursuits. We recognized her for putting Butt-head on her butt cheek, and now COED recognizes her for general excellence.

Here are pictures from our two favorite sessions she’s done; for updates on her adventures in MILFitude follow her at @ashleycmsalazar.

5. Fast Food Tastes Amazing

New studies come out daily pointing out how utterly shitty a quarter pounder is for your health, and everybody acts like we only got smart about fast food like, yesterday. As if evidence against saturated fat, or trans fat, or corn syrup was some kind of revelation.

This is stupid not only because fitness experts like Jack Lalanne have been telling people since the 1950s not to eat anything that’s man-made, but also because it assumes that now that we know all the facts about processed food, we’ll finally be able to get thinner as a country. Fitness in America is like dry land in Waterworld—a myth.

And it’s not because we’re not educated enough about processed food. It’s because processed food tastes freaking AMAZING. It tastes amazing, and its nature’s cruel joke that if something does taste amazing, it’s probably unhealthy for you. It’s also society’s cruel joke on every health expert in existence that no amount of negative fast-food propoganda will ever be able to supersede this

That’s a Wendy’s Baconator Double. No, it’s not just a myth—it’s real. It’s real, and it’s probably within 5 minutes driving distance of you right now. And no, it’s not expensive. You can buy two of them, if you want.

4. Working Out is Boring

Health gurus constantly praise the art of the full body workout as some kind of quasi-religious experience, like producing sweat is enough stimulation by itself to find the meaning of life. This might have been true, say, 100 years ago when reading Moby Dick over a coal lamp was the next best thing to sex. But today’s world is different. Our attention spans have been warped and shrunk to the size of a two-year-old’s. If this wasn’t an obvious problem, elliptical and treadmill manufacturers wouldn’t be selling their products with built-in freaking consoles. And gyms wouldn’t have at least one TV for every three running machines.

Weight loss is a numbers game. The only way you lose weight is by burning more calories than you take in. Simple, right? Right, except doing something like jogging for 30 minutes—the amount of time the Surgeon General recommends you spend daily on exercise— only burns like 300 some calories. 300—that’s not even enough to burn off a 6’ Subway Club. So…

Point 1: The Surgeon General is clearly the government’s version of everybody’s sweet, naïve grandma—they wouldn’t think nearly so high of you if only they knew how you really spent your time. Point 2: You’d have to at least double that recommended 30 minutes to put a serious hurtin’ on your cholesterol level. So, one hour? Ugh.

You have to have serious willpower and energy to divvy up your (assumingly) limited free time in favor of jumping rope over, say, a rousing Mario Kart Wii session, or literally a hundred other things that don’t involve jumping rope. But just add in a little variety! Sports psychologists say. Throw in a rope pull! Intermittent wall climbing stations! Sanskrit Yoga! Working out can be fun, too! No, it can’t. Otherwise it wouldn’t be called WORK-ing out.

3. The Cyborg Apocalypse is Still a Ways Off

And until it does happen and we have to relearn how to be hunters and gatherers and therefore have no need to worry about staying in shape because it goes hand in hand with just surviving, we’re perpetually stuck in a world where around 80 percent of our existence revolves around sitting on our asses. When we’re working, we’re sitting on our asses. When we’re playing, we’re sitting on our asses. We can even workout while sitting on our asses

Sociologists kindly refer to this a ‘sedentary lifestyle’. Our lives are dominated by passive and readily available forms of digital entertainment, making the need to, y’know, move or something to pass the time totally useless. And since we lead the world at importing and inventing new ways to stimulate the mind whilst sitting on the ass, sedentary lifestyles will be the norm until Skynet becomes self-aware. The only way you avoid a sedentary lifestyle in America in the meantime is by volunteering to be a day laborer, or one of those old-timey hobos who’s always carrying a stick with a knapsack tied onto it.

2. We Give Up Easy

Weight loss takes time. Looking awesome with no shirt on takes time. Like, many, many months worth of time, and many, many hours worth of energy. We all sort of know this, but that cold fact doesn’t really translate until you’ve put in a week of honest-to-goodness diet and exercise, look in the mirror after the week’s said and done, and…you still look more or less the same. FAAAACK!

Nobody likes eating rice cakes and tapeworms morning, noon, and night. Nobody. And stretching that shitty morning, noon, and night routine into some kind of odyssey is asking a whole lot when the average American gets impatient when their phone takes longer than five seconds to update their Facebook status.

Realizing this, we’ve gone so far as to invent surgical procedures like stomach stapling and liposuction to circumvent the whole ‘our collective willpower sucks’ issue, and the previously mentioned ‘working out is boring’ problem. But if Carnie Wilson can’t manage to stay thin with the aid of medical technology…

Before:

After:

Aaaand we’re back again:

And maybe none of us can. They tried to rebuild her. They had the technology. But it’s unlikely that any of us will take that personally, because…

1. Being Fat is Less of a Big Deal

We all know the statistics. Almost 2/3 of all American adults are overweight or obese. The overweight/obese actually outnumber the non-overweight/obese. But according to this here chart, that’s a fact of life that’s been written on the wall since before NASA even knew how they were gonna fake the moon landing. Years go by, and we get bigger. And besides all of the reasons already listed, there’s more of a willingness to embrace a little extra poundage and accept the idea that being fat is not the end of the world. If fat wasn’t such a huge stigma, GLEE wouldn’t have given us Mercedes, and CBS would’ve passed on Mike & Molly.

If being fat was the be all, end all obliterator of psyches in this day and age, Oprah wouldn’t keep falling back off the wagon, right? And she probably has a whole team of chefs, trainers, and nutritionists on payroll dedicated (and failing) to keeping her thin.

Related on The Smoking Jacket:
The Fat Are Getting Fatter 
Ask TSJ: Should I Be Worried About My Girlfriend’s Gigantic Mom? 

WE ALL KNOW KATE UPTON’S HOT BY NOW. And she is. And we love her. But there’s no reason we can’t dole out our love of Sports Illustrated women equally. So here are some of the magazine’s finest, frolicking, rolling, bouncing. Not too shabby for a February afternoon.

1. Adaora

2. Alyssa

3. Bar

4. Ariel

5. Jessica

“YOU’RE IN THE SOAK ZONE,” a production assistant warns, as a water truck sprays down Montgomery Street – creating a beautiful cinematic surface glow. Residents peer out windows, waiting for the action to begin. It’s one of those picture-perfect San Francisco days – like the kind you see in a car commercial. Crisp and clear; the mighty Bay Bridge looms in the background of the rolling hills. Police hold back traffic as curious onlookers gather along the sidewalks.

“How do you feel, having your house featured in a TV commercial,” I ask an elderly Asian woman who lives on the block. “Good,” she says with a laugh. “They should pay me. I’ll take the BMW, how about that?”

Good Answer. There’s only one star of this commercial shoot and that’s ‘The Ultimate Driving Machine.’

“Camera ready! Roll tape! Action!”

A glossy red BMW 328i soars down a picturesque hill in North Beach. The camera vehicle, a black Porsche Cayenne Turbo manned by a trio of gung-ho camera-cowboys, drives mere feet in front of the BMW and captures the action. With a precision driving maneuver, the BMW sharply turns left onto Vallejo Street, practically emoting personality as the stunt driver puts extra “umph” into the action.

This three-day commercial shoot is part of the campaign to launch the new 3 Series in mid-February. In the world of BMW, this is a monumental event as the 3 Series experiences a complete overhaul like this only every seven years.

KBS+P, the agency that produced the innovative 2011 Super Bowl commercial, “Changes,” has developed the spot filming around the Bay Area this weekend – highlighting BMW’s beloved heritage.

“Our goal was to breathe new life into one of the most famous taglines of all time,” says DJ Pierce, Executive Creative Director at KBS+P. “The goal of the spot is to give BMW its swagger back and retake its rightful claims,” Pierce says. “We want to give fans something they’re psyched about.”

The crew has been filming The Ultimate Driving Machine navigating through different environments. In the spot, the 328i starts out in a residential area, drives through the city, traverses across the mountains, and finally whirls past the majestic Redwoods. The takeaway: With 36 miles per gallon highway, a BMW enthusiast will spend more time driving and less time at gas stations.

“In 1971, the iconic sports sedan craze began,” says Pierce. “I was a kid in that car and I had a lot of fun. My mom was a badass driving that car,” Pierce adds with a laugh. “The 328i is in that direct lineage.”

LET’S GET URBAN

In the afternoon, the crew shoots the 328i zipping through urban areas as the production moves from North Beach to Leidersdoft Alley in the Financial District. Discussion is afoot with the production team setting up a scene outside a café.

“Is there anyway to put the slider here so the car is in the full shot?”

“We’ll start with the full shot and we’ll do the overhead last.”

The Shelly Ward prep team is equipping the 328i with a long camera arm rig called the “Gravity Slider.” Overseeing the operation is Mike Johnson – a 20-year vet who knows his way around BMWs; he just handled driving stunts alongside Tom Cruise for the upcoming Mission Impossible 4 movie.

“He actually has a very good feel for the car and is probably in the top 5% of drivers,” Johnson says about the MI star’s driving proclivities. “He’s fun to work with because of that aspect.” In his off hours, Johnson drives a BMW X6. “I’m pretty much a fan,” he says, while waiting for his next setup. “The big thing is how well-balanced the vehicles are. (Pause.) The only negative thing I can say about BMWs – they’re too good!”

“Stand by for shot! Lock it up please,” hollers the director. “Roll cameras! Action!”

With the Gravity Slider in place, the camera rolls – capturing the POV of the 328i’s wheel. With Mission Impossible-style driving, the vehicle traverses through the watered-down alley street. The 328i hits a puddle. A collective “Aaah!” is let out by the creative team watching from the monitors.

“My big scene is coming up,” says the principal actor, who exudes the attributes of the archetype BMW driver; smart, neat, with a sporty twinkle in his eye. He’ll drive the 328i down California Street, while the camera in the back seat shoots over his shoulder and captures his shifting ability.

“Reset again!” yells the assistant director after the 4th take. A stunt driver is brought in to replace the actor and nail the tricky shifting move.

“Can I see your hands please,” asks the assistant director as the makeup woman moisturizes his fingers and palms.

The 328i is wiped down for the final shot. The stunt driver takes position behind the wheel.

“Camera ready! Roll tape! Action!”

At the last second, the stunt driver spins the BMW out on California Street in a full 180 donut. It’s something right out of The Fast and The Furious.

Related on The Smoking Jacket:
5 Crappy Cars Everyone Should Drive Before They Die
Video of a Banana Driving a Car 

1. Rope Swinging Video of the Day (HotClicks)

2. Celebrating Leonard Cohen’s 40 years in music, Cults’ Everybody Knows (Heavy)

3. MC5 Bassist Dies at 68 (Huffington Post)

4. Rajon Rondo throws a ball at the ref (Total Pro Sports)

5. Scientists turn us into Spider Man. Finally. (UpRoxx)

6. Web app tells people why you dumped them (Guyspeed)

7. Linningshirt.com trying to Lin over Knicks fans (Campus Socialite)

8. WTF ancient Japanese fartwork (Coed)

9. 20 GIFs of the woman addicted to her gigantic 38KKK breasts (Buzzfeed)

10. The top-10 most stressful colleges in the country (BroBible)

TSJ ROUNDS UP 10 OF THE HOTTEST LADY LINKS FROM SOME OF OUR FAVORITE SITES AROUND THE WEB. Click the pics to access each gallery.

1. The 20 Hottest Photos of Michelle Vawer (Heavy)



2. Matthew McConaughey’s New Fiancee (Made Man)

3. Fat Boobs Day for Fat Tuesday (Coed)

4. Sun Devils on the Beach (Tempe)

5. Victoria’s Secret Models Caught in Their Two-Pieces (Celebuzz)

6. Rihanna Keeps Hangs On to Her Green Dress — Barely (Egotastic)

7. UFC Ring Girl Brittney Palmer (Busted)

8. Jorgie Porter Outtakes (Guyism)

9. The 50 Hottest Smart Girls (Complex)

10. Who is the Girl in the Fiat Commercial? (Guyspeed)

Last week we told you that Frank D. aka Frank Hotsauce would be putting his “Honey Series” of photos online today (Monday), and indeed it is now live for you to enjoy.

Front to back, top to bottom, this is some of the hottest babe photography we’ve seen all year, and all last year, and there are many amazing galleries. Maybe you dig Jeny Romero’s pictures — a fine choice. Maybe Ashley Logan gets you buzzing — hey, that’s understandable. Got Lia Cha? We can respect that.

There are 30 galleries of 29 models at honey.dynastyseries.com, and we pored over each one before picking our winner. We suggest you do the same.

We have Rosa Acosta winning this one. Agree or disagree?

TwitPic theater is a collection of the sexiest pictures posted by Playmates and Playboy models from the week. Take a peek into the sexy lives of the girls at photo shoots, on nights out, and more.

@AmandaCerny with @cooperhefner on Hef’s Beoing 737 en route to Brazil.

@BrittneyPalmer shows off her bikini bod.

 @cooperhefner with Playmates in Rio.

@FrancescaFrigo gives throws out a cheeky grin.

@HeatherRaeYoung sitting pretty atop a Harley.

Lucky Bunny! @hiromioshima.

@JessaHinton gets helmet-ready.

@JessicaBurciaga with @hiromioshima party at the Playboy mansion.

@LeolaBell ditches the slippers for a pair of tall boots.

@SheraBechard poses in her bunny costume with her dog, Willa.

IF YOU’RE A WRITER (read: late shift barista), a literary academic (read: writer without talent but who has a PhD), or a book enthusiast (someone with a real job), you’ve no doubt been dragged in to the conversation, argument, or cockfight about books versus eBooks.

Those on the side of the dead tree cite the book as an artifact, and how to enjoy literature you need to be able to hold it, dog ear its pages, shove it under your Ikea coffee table so that your smokes stop rolling off. Those on the side of the digital eBook argue that we no longer start fires by banging rocks together, or ride horses to work, or prevent couples in love to marry no matter their sexuality, because we’ve evolved as a people.

As a writer myself, I’m just impressed when someone chooses something of mine to read over James L. Patterson or some thing about wizards, and frankly I don’t care if they read it off the backside of a Puerto Rican virgin as long as I get a cut. But writers are fickle, horrible people, and for the most part they want you to read books that eliminated thirty percent of the Argentine rainforest only to sit unread in a publishers warehouse.

So here, below, is the definitive final word on the argument that eBooks are better than book books, one that will be cited when your children learn about the death of the book in university years from now. On their tablets. Without pens.

1. Books are Killing Trees
Rainforests are depleting exponentially year after year, so why isn’t  Matt Damon telling us to go digital? If books were made from the critically endangered Brown Spider Monkey, PETA, the IUCN, and Jason Bourne  would all be telling us to switch to eBooks immediately, or stop reading altogether.

Is deforestation of the Amazon worthy of the latest collection of concrete poetry or reprinted French philosophy? Do we really need to clearcut Indonesia so that teenage girls can read about vampires having intercourse with werewolves and zombies? Is another season of American Loggers in the name giving grad students more thesis subjects really worth it when there’s a viable option that would promote sustainability? Bad Will Hunting for not getting out in front of this issue.

2. Books are Heavy
Have you ever helped your buddy move in the dead of winter to a sixth-floor walkup when all your other friends claimed to be busy even though they weren’t because unbeknownst to you your buddy had never thrown out a book, even still owning his grade six science text? Of course you have, so you’ll know the pain and frustration of helping said buddy carry six thousand books weighing the equivalent of a water-soaked elephant holding a Honda Civic. You know how much those books weigh on your Kindle or iPad or BlackBerry Bottle Rocket XII Elite? Nothing. Like, literally nothing.

3.  Books are Flammable (Inflammable? No, flammable. Flammable)
Look, everyone like to enjoy their favorite tome of Latvian experimental poetry late at night, half-cut on gin and painkillers, with a pack of Camels, am I right? You know what happens when you pass out at 3 am while reading Uldis Bērziņš’ Daugavmala and you drop your smoke into the book? Your apartment burns down and you have to move in with your mother, that’s what. You know what happens when you drop a smoke onto your eReader? You spend a day arguing with a Staples clerk that the half-cylinder burn was there when you took the Kindle out of the box, that’s what.

4. Books are Elitist
Don’t you hate it when you’re hanging out with your buddy, and he won’t shut up about how he’s “really getting into Foucault again” and that he “can’t wait for the new Žižek to come out,” like he’s trying to impress a grad student with deep rooted daddy issues?

The problem is that some assholes actually read those books, and will look down on you if they drop by the pub and you’re flipping through Twilight: Breaking Dawn, because, man that Bella is a piece of work, and then you get made fun of and the cute waitress who was totally in to you is now hanging with your Foucault-reading buddy at the bar swooning at his talk about The Use of Pleasure and other books no one cares about outside of universities. With an eReader, no one knows what you’re reading, and it’ll be our little secret. Bring on The Hunger Games and bring home that waitress.

5. Books are Weapons
Have you ever told your wife that her younger sister was “kind of hot, like a younger, tighter version” of her and that if you weren’t together then you would probably see if she wanted to go see Breaking Dawn Part I with you because you think that you’d have a lot in common with a first-year Liberal Arts major who wasn’t alive when Kurt Cobain was, while your girlfriend was trying to read The Carrie Diaries?

Well, let me tell you, when she starts smacking you with that book, it’s going to hurt. A lot. And when she stops hitting you and throws her half-glass of chardonnay in your face, it’s going to sting when it gets into those fresh paper cuts. You would have to do something really stupid to get beaten with an eReader, because those things are expensive and if it gets to the point in your life when your partner is hitting you with an iPad, you’ve got bigger problems than I can help you with and she probably doesn’t even have a hot sister.

6. Books are the New Cassette
Look, I love books. Love them. I’ve read Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas about thirty-seven-and-a-half times, and I’m still angry about the time my buddy Rich tore a filter off the cover. I am that guy who refuses to throw out a book, and I have angered friends by filling a 48 gallon Rubbermaid container with old copies of Sweet Valley High, before telling them my new apartment was on the eighth floor and there’s no elevator.

But you know what didn’t aggravate their hernia? A box of cassettes that would no doubt be fragments of plastic and unwound tape by the time I opened it, because cassettes are obsolete. The technology changed. For the better. No one’s rocking out to INXS on their yellow Sony sports walkman anymore, and for good reason. You know who still has cassettes? The dude who can’t wait for the new Žižek. You know why? Because he’s a hipster dick who thinks it’s ironically cool.

Note: No trees were harmed in the production of this column. Some feelings were hurt, and my wife moved out, and I spilled some gin on my MacBook so now my function key doesn’t work and for some reason I can’t open any document with “buttermilk” in the title. But no trees. 

-
Mike Spry is the author of JACK (Snare Books, 2008), which was shortlisted for the 2009 Quebec Writers’ Federation A.M. Klein Prize for Poetry, and he was longlisted for the 2010 Journey Prize. His most recent work is Distillery Songs(Insomniac Press, 2011). He lives in Toronto.

Illustration by Lasse Mathiesen Køhlert. Check out his work here and here.

Related on The Smoking Jacket:
The 7 Books in the Cycle of Any American President
The Writer’s Guide to Staying Single 

Jade Bryce is Playboy Cyber Girl of the month for February 2012! This native Texan has as much going on on the outside as she does on the inside! Read on to learn her passion for Playboy, kids, and blues music! With the face of a supermodel and the body of a bombshell, we know Jade will be burned into your memory!

Vital Stats:
36-23-32D (natural), 5’3″.

Congrats on Cyber Girl of the Month! Your features look gorgeous! What was your favorite part of your CGOM shoot?
I’ve always wanted to go to Chicago, so being able to do the shoot there was really cool! I love blues dancing and Chicago is great for that! Of course the crew was a blast too!

After having touched four of the seven continents, tell us about your recent trip to Africa!
Africa is always such an experience! It’s definitely not a vacation. I work with rescued child soldiers, victims of the genocide, and orphans while there. It’s intense and definitely is a perspective shifter.

What impacted you most about your African experience?
The people there are just so grateful and happy with so little. I have seen children die of starvation, villages town apart by the war… and yet this still say “I will be better tomorrow” when you ask them how they are doing. They still have hope.

Welcome to LA! What do you miss most about home in Austin, TX?
Blues dancing! I’m a pro, haha. I also miss my cute little apartment on the lake. But LA has been so welcoming and such a blast! And I’m here for a purpose!

Who is in your celebrity threesome?
Josh Hartnett and Mila Kunis!!

I love your alluring face, smile, and tight tummy! What is your biggest complimented feature? What about your favorite part of yourself physically?
My biggest complimented feature is probably my eyes or smile… I’d say my favorite parts of my body are my eyes and boobs!

If you hadn’t gotten involved with modeling, what would you be doing right now?
My dream has always been to act and help children in need!

Are you more likely to marry a rock star personality or a computer genius personality?
Oh hell, haha. I love nerds with a rock star look.

Where did your love of blues music develop from?
I was born in New Orleans, so it must be in my blood! One of my favorite dates was at a blues bar… so maybe it started there too! I just love swinging my hips to the sound of the harmonica and stomping my feet to the drums!!! I’ve actually got it on the record player now, haha!

What components would make up your dream photo shoot?
Elephants or monkeys… I’m a weird girl.

Have you thought about owning a business? What might you want to get into, if so?
Definitely something to do with helping children!

Where can we keep up with you online?
Facebook: facebook.com/pages/Jade-Bryce/403542579407
Twitter: @thejadebryce
Blog: diaryofatravelsizedmodel.blogspot.com

This is a collection of 15 great stories from some of our favorite sites around the web. Those of us in the industry call it a “link dump.” We call it “Morning Dump” because it’s early and we’re immature. Click the pics to read each article.

1. Tweets of the week and the Lin celebrity bandwagon (HotClicks)

2. Speed Racer: Mach 5 vs Mach 5, part 1 (Heavy)

3. Whitney Houston’s private burial in New Jersey (Huffington Post)

4. A closer look at Jeremy Lin and Linsanity (TotalProSports)

5. Meme Watch: Story time Jesus (UpRoxx)

6. Reese’s peanut butter cake (Buzzfeed)

7. Crush of the day: Kristin Kruek (Guy Speed)

8. 7 annoying shows women watch and how to survive them (Guyism)

9. Beer Pong finally gets its own branded beer (The Campus Socialite)

10. 7 TV actresses (and 1 actor) who got the shaft (Coed Magazine)

11. The 6 sleaziest ways animals are mimicking human sexuality (Cracked)

12. High steaks 2: Classy filet mignon (Made Man)

13. 100 greatest Nicolas Cage quotes (Next Round)

14. SNL’s hilarious skit on Blue Ivy Carter (BroBible)

15. Nascar rednecks reject General Lee pace car idea over confederate flag (Busted Coverage)

Here we have shots from a feature in Love magazine, plus some outtakes, plus some just goofing around. (Tip of the cap to WWTDD.)

FEBRUARY 17
Happy birthday to Playboy’s beautiful Cyber Model, Ashley Zeitler! 

FIND HER ONLINE
@marvelouslyash
plaboyblog.com 

FEBRUARY 18
Happy birthday to Playboy’s beautiful Cyber Girl, Vikki Ikki! 

FIND HER ONLINE
@vikki_ikki 
playboy.com 

1. The Kate Upton ‘bouncing’ supercut (World Wide Interweb)

2. Luisana Lopilato is back and looking hotter than ever (Guyism)

3. Women you should know: Irina Shayk (AskMen)

4. Victoria Justice shares her celeb crush (Celebuzz)

5. Doutzen Kroes bikini pictures are working hard for the money in Miami (Egotastic)

6. Tyler’s Coffee presents: Sophie Howard (The Campus Socialite)

7. The 30 hottest women on Instagram (Complex)

8. Kirby Griffin Gallery (Sports Illustrated)

9. The girls of Project X (Maxim)

You’re not going to throw around a puny word like fun when you’re talking about Karma’s Kandy Masquerade at the Playboy Mansion. Intense excitement is building in anticipation of next week’s event, where “fun,” says  Eric Stotz,  founder and president of the Karma Foundation, promises to be “an understatement.”

The bacchanalia, showcases world-renown entertainers, celebrities, decadent costumes (like original period costumes from the seventeenth century) and out-of-this world reveling, making for a blow-your-senses away, unforgettable night. Lingerie and masks are the only requirements at the anything goes, Eyes Wide Shut-styled Masquerade.

And it’s all for a good cause. This year’s beneficiary charity is the V Foundation, an organization dedicated to saving lives by helping to find a cure for cancer. “We thought it was a noble cause,” says Stotz, adding, “zero percent of the money they raise goes to  administration. One hundred percent of it goes to helping people.”

Stotz, an old hand on the philanthropy circuit, created Karma when he was still in his mid-20s “to bring great people together for a great cause,” he says. “I had a thirst for going to events that were socially-responsible–doing good–and also really fun.”

Karma’s next extravagant soiree is set to be staged this coming Saturday, February 25. The event’s fourth installment at the Playboy Mansion promises to raise the bar on decadence. The Stoli-sponsored party, held over the Academy Award weekend, will draw revelers from around the world as well as a high concentration of celebrities.

“We don’t have to go as bananas as we do, but it’s important to create something spectacular,” Stotz says.

And the Kandy Masquerade, a great vehicle for building social connections and lifelong friends, has gotten rave reviews. “People have told me, ‘Literally, my life has never been the same again,’” says Stotz. “You’re sharing such an extraordinary experience together.”

TSJ Readers are cordially invited to buy tickets on kandymasquerade.com, using code: PR9469.

Photos courtesy of the Karma Foundation

Poet but didn’t even know it! So again here’s Claudia who appealed to a lotta ya, making you feel pervy because she’s so curvy, wearing bikinis that are generally teeny. But here’s a surprise, guys: You won’t see her hiney because, apparently, it’s tiny.

Ah, poetry—the last refuge of a scoundrel. Please accept our apologies for the doggerel. It is Friday and editing this interview called for a couple of margaritas. Mix your own and enjoy Claudia.

A nickname I have had: “Tiny Hiney.” I used to bartend in Miami, and my coworkers started calling me that because I would wear these low rider hiphugging pleather pants and let’s face it … my hiney is pretty tiny!

The worst movie I have ever seen: Hot Tub Time Machine. I didn’t get it and it wasn’t funny to me.

I’m a nerd about: Dirty dishes in the sink.

Please worship my: Poor weathered feet!

Try not to stare at my: Toes.

I would rather have a root canal than: Eat oatmeal.

Sex is: Good even when not so good.

My greatest weakness: Shoes.

If I were a drag queen, my name would be: Ida Slapter

If I was a Bond girl, my name would be: Anita Haveit or Double Didi

Food that turns me on: A sizzling steak and lobster with mashed potatoes! Rrr!

I don’t understand why people think I’m: A lesbian.

Something cool about having boobs: The one with the boobs gets to play with them at the end of the day.

I cried unnecessarily the day: I broke up with an ex. What a waste of a day!

When I throw a party I make sure to have: Plenty of booze!

The funniest comedian is: Dave Chappelle.

People tell me I look like: Kourtney Kardashian.

I’m too sexy for my: Shirt. So sexy it hurts…

When I was 8 years old I thought I would be: A teacher

Stay out of my way when: I’ve been standing on stiletto heels on a wooden platform for an entire day.

I’ll let my boyfriend know I’m feeling frisky by: Waiting on the bed with nothing but a red bow on. Just kidding.

My super power: Projectile vomiting.

I am completely freaked out by: Clowns.

The most unpleasant word in the English language is: The C word

A type of ladies’ underwear I don’t enjoy wearing is: G-strings… ouch! But I love me a granny panty!

I will never understand why men: Are always grabbing their crotches in public.

My most recent wardrobe malfunction was: At a recent shoot. Oh my—nipple!

My relationship with spectator sports is: I watch the Super Bowl every year. Mostly for the commercials. And because who doesn’t like watching a bunch of men bending over wearing tights. Go Giants!

The most interesting compliment I ever got from a stranger is: A guy recently came up to me at an auto show and told me that I’m so well spoken! I guess he hasn’t heard me after a night out drinking Patron.

The most exciting thing I did today was: Eat a cupcake named the Michael Jackson! Only in Austin, Texas.

If I were to go that way, my lesbian lover would be: Megan Fox. Just look at her!

My backup career if this whole “being pretty” thing doesn’t work out: To become a trophy wife. Duh!

Something my parents made me do that still traumatizes me today: Eat runny scrambled eggs

Last time I ate way too much was: Last night, at a Mediterranean/Arabic buffet.

The best thing I learned from an ex-boyfriend was: To never let them get away with anything.

The first time I can remember feeling sexy was: When I bought my first bikini. It was pink and had a ruffled bandeou top!

The most rough-and-tumble outdoor activity I do is: Lay by the pool

A grown man should not: Lose his cool.

MAN CRUSH: JEREMY LIN

This is probably the easiest Man Crush to award ever since pretty much the entire population has a man crush on him.

The Knicks are not a good basketball team. Yet somehow an undrafted Asian dude from Harvard who was waived revitalized the team instead of, you know, like Carmelo Anthony and/or Amar’e Stoudemire.

Lin scored the most points ever for a guy in his first four NBA starts, including 38 to beat the Lakers. He put up at least 20 with seven assists in each of those starts. The Knicks’ six-game win streak basically put them back in playoff contention.

He’s a guy who is sort of living the dream right now. This season he was in the D-League and is now one of the biggest names in sports, pretty much overnight. A story came out he was sleeping on his grad student brother’s couch in Manhattan and is only now getting a real apartment. If he retired right now, he’d be set for life just off his future best-selling autobiography and blockbuster movie deal.

I’m currently in Italy and there were stories in Italian about him here. He’s reached the global phenomenon level. And after hitting a game-winning three over the Raptors there’s no stopping this in sight.

I want to believe he’s this good. Maybe he is.

DOUCHEBAG: LINSANITY

Jeremy Lin is a great, great story. But we are killing it. We’ve basically made Jeremy Lin into a Tim Tebow who is good at math (and actually good at sports for that matter).

The Knicks’ online store traffic is up 3,000 percent. Floyd Merriweather, the expert source on race relations, said Lin was only getting this attention because he’s Asian (something not entirely untrue). Giant racist and sometimes writer Jason Whitlock referenced the stereotype of small Asian penises referring to Lin. People can’t stop taking about him.

And it’s ruining it. Lin is almost certainly not going to last. It’s a great story for a while. But because it was in New York, it got blown out of control. If he were playing for the Bucks right now there’s very little chance anyone would even know who he is. He might have a legit NBA career, but the chances of him succeeding long-term are slim, at least at the current superstar level he is. Instead of just being able to enjoy this, now ESPN.com is making him in the headline of their news stories about the Knicks, even when he goes 1-13 shooting in the second half. It’s only a matter of time before he has his own one hour special.

I clearly love Jeremy Lin. He’s an awesome story. And he keeps producing so it’s hard not to go crazy for him. But the media is going to take this too far and make us all sick of him. When things are too good to be true there’s always backlash, and you can already tell there’s a little with the Merriweather comments.

Growing up in Detroit I’m reminded of Chris Shelton, who hit a bunch of home runs really quick to start a season, everyone bought his jersey, and he never did anything again. Except Shelton didn’t have an entire race counting on him (unless pasty chubby white dudes is a race).

It’s good to love Lin. Just don’t overdo it.

Related on The Smoking Jacket:
Sterling Moore vs. Everybody Else 
Tim Tebow vs. NCAA Football