LEGENDARY BAD BOY, Tucker Max, isn’t one for living meek or keeping secrets. Max has written extensively about getting X-ray blowjobs, puking during anal sex, and fucking midgets (um–little people), both on his website, tuckermax.com, and in his books, I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell and Assholes Finish First.
TSJ talks to Tucker Max about his latest book, Hilarity Ensues, and what it’s like to get away with spreading ruckus like it’s the new STI.
The Smoking Jacket: You’ve got a new book out, your third–Hilarity Ensues. How can you possibly up the ante at this point? What kinds of stories are we gonna find in there?
Tucker Max: This book is a lot more like the first [I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell]. The first book is a classic. The third book has a lot of stories around the era regarding my first book. I can even say it’s better than my second book, Assholes Finish First. The one thing I can tell you about this book… is there’s a component titled “sexting stories.” I have never laughed so hard [as I did] while writing these stories; I laughed the most out of any other stories [I ever wrote] while [I was] writing it.
TSJ: Thoughts on sexting?
TM: I hate sexting; it’s so juvenile. I want to have real sex! In the movie for my first book, they thought it’d be funny to include my real number, rather than using a fake one. So, of course, everyone figured out it was my real number. I’m an idiot! So in the next year or two, I received all these sexts from random girls. This one girl wouldn’t stop texting me, so I finally responded but in the most vicious way possible. But not only did she continue to send me sexts, she loved the way I was speaking to her. All these girls who thought I was an asshole continued to send me sexts… I had to get a new phone number.
TSJ: Re: your book, Assholes Finish First: What’s the most asshole-ish thing you’ve done?
TM: I’ve done a lot of bad things. [One time], my buddy secretly filmed while this girl and I engaged in anal sex. I did drink and drive a few times, which is obviously horrible. I’ve made plenty of mistakes. It’d be hard to pick just one.
“I hate sexting; it’s so juvenile. I want to have real sex!”
TSJ: Do you feel like you’ve invented a new genre of tell-all writing?
TM: I make money off my secrets, so instead of hiding, I write [my] stories in my books. The thing I’m most proud of is that with a little luck and a lot of hard work, I convinced a literary genre to include my books without much help from mainstream media.
”My buddies secretly filmed while this girl and I engaged in anal sex.”
TSJ: How long can you keep writing these kinds of stories, though?
TM: I know I’m done with writing flat-tire stories about my twenties, because I’m not in my twenties anymore. A big A-list movie star contacted me to coauthor his autobiography.
TSJ: So co-authoring sounds like an exciting game-change. Is that what you think you’ll be doing in, say, 5-10 years?
TM: 5 to 10 years from now, I’m not sure.
TSJ: Is Tucker Max ever going to settle down?
TM: Absolutely.I love kids! [I] want to have a wife and kids. It would be crappy to not have [any]. But I didn’t want any five years ago.
TSJ: And hopefully any kids you have will never learn to read.
I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell was turned into a film in 2009. Here’s the trailer for it.
Q&A by Valerie Bevilacqua and Melissa Bull