Now that the busiest travel day of the year has passed and Americans have gotten familiar with body-scanners and genital gropes, we’re going to come out and say it–God bless the Transportation Security Administration.
You think we’re joking? Well, how else would we have been gotten to see the many videos of women stripping down to their skivvies to protest the new safeguards? All of a sudden going through airport security has the potential to feel like a trip to Scores.
Here are the six hottest moments in TSA history…so far.
Corinne Rocks a Preemptive Bikini
In this video, a passenger known only as “Corinne” takes a page straight from the US foreign policy play book by taking preemptive measures to ward off an unwanted TSA pat down. To be more specific, she shows up at the airport in a bikini. She even goes so far as to explain that the feds can go right ahead and see what she has in her bikini if they want to.
Somewhere, a lonely TSA agent is undoubtedly wondering if that offer still stands.
The Pirate Party
Fine, due to the abundance of unsightly and hairy German dudes in this video, we may be pushing it a bit by calling this sexy. Nevertheless, we fully support any and all forms of protest that involve a whole gaggle of gals in their underwear.
We’d also show you “Furry Girl’s” similarly underwear-inclined security strip-down were it not for the fact that the video is a bit unsafe for work. If you’re so inclined (and so alone), feel free to click the image above and check it out.
Seattle Weekly’s Sexiest Body Scan Contest
When Seattle Weekly recently ran a gallery of TSA body scan images on their site, the post was met with more than a little outrage from their readers. Seattle Weekly responded to the controversy in a way that truly warms our cold, dark hearts. They posted the images again and, this time, asked readers to vote on which scan was the sexiest.
Sexy Takes to the Skies
Some passengers aren’t even waiting for their encounters with the TSA to take it all off. Witness the woman who disrobed on a flight to New York on Sunday night. As NBC News reports:
Police have removed an emotionally disturbed passenger who stripped naked on a flight between Chicago and New York. The incident happened Saturday night as Delta Flight 6562 began its descent into Kennedy Airport. A Newsday news manager who was on the flight said flight attendants tried to cover the woman with a blanket while she yelled “No! No! No!”
Sure, she’s psychotic, but who among us hasn’t loved a crazy woman before?
Obviously, video of this particular incident hasn’t surfaced. Instead, we included video of the sexiest in-flight safety demonstration of all time. What do the two have to do with each other? Nothing at all, it’s just a fun video to watch.
Fake? Probably. Sexy? Definitely.
Let’s just get the obvious out of the way here…this video is probably fake. Not fake in the sense that it isn’t actually a video. That’s stupid and we can’t believe that’s what you thought we meant. What we mean is that there are a lot of inconsistencies here that lead us to believe shenanigans may be afoot.
For starters, this looks less like an airport and more like, you know, something that isn’t an airport. Also, where the hell is the rest of the security at? From what we can tell, it’s just that chunky guy who looks like the guy from SNL whose name we can’t recall and one other dude holding down the fort. If that’s the only line of defense between our skies and would be terrorists, buckle up America, it’s going to be a long ride. But the kicker comes at the end when a promo for some website that seems to be dedicated to traveler hook-ups appears. That’s shady! Oh, there’s also a very brief but also very obvious editing glitch right around the 0:16 mark.
But with all that said…holy shit did you see the girl in the video? Suddenly, full transparency in government doesn’t seem so bad anymore.