IT’S GREAT THAT PORN STARS HAVE AN EDUCATION AND SOMETHING TO FALL BACK ON LATER IN LIFE. On the other hand, it does create this odd disconnect to discover that somebody you’ve seen naked and boning on video is officially smarter than you. Which seems unfair, since they’re also better-paid, better-looking, and have more fun at their job.

Here are eight porn stars who actually have other career options. Although there are depressingly high numbers of education degrees in the mix.

8. T.J. Hart

Hart has been a multiple AVN Award nominee, including most recently Best Anal. However, she also happens to have a triple major from the University of Colorado: psychology, sociology, and art.

With a minor in early childhood education.

Oh, and in case you didn’t feel bad enough about yourself, she’s also an Olympic athlete. So, yes, she has not only achieved more than you, she’s had way more fun.

7. Shy Love

Shy Love has been in 250 porn movies, and she’s probably invested every dime responsibly because she has a freaking Master’s degree in Accounting. Also a second Master’s degree in Taxation.  And once her student loans were paid off, she quit and became a financial comptroller.  And a CPA by the age of 25.

We’re torn, because that makes her possibly the most boring person ever, the perfect stereotype of a nerd… and yet, she’s a porn star. So it’d make for a boring date with a great ending, maybe?

6. Nina Hartley

Hartley got into porn because she had bills to pay… for nursing school. She started stripping and discovered that strippers and porn stars had cleaner work and were better treated than nurses (which is pretty sad).  Although considering one involves possible orgasms and the other involves cleaning up vomit, we’re assuming this was not the hardest choice Hartley has ever had to make. That didn’t stop her from becoming a registered nurse, and currently she’s a sex educator. Hey, she’s qualified in just about every way possible.

5. Ron Jeremy

Let’s muse for a second that a man with a Master’s degree in Special Education basically found being that creepy hairy guy in more porn than any other human being a better paying and more dignified job than working with special needs children. We’re not sure if it says more about the porn industry or the educational system.

4. A.J. Baily

Baily is in porn because, well, master’s degree’s from St. Andrew’s University in Museum Studies and Anthropology don’t pay for themselves (and we’re assuming they don’t really lead to well-paying careers anyway).

3. Lorelei Lee

Lee is currently juggling life as a gradaute student in NYU and life as a porn star.  She’s going for her master’s in creative writing… and probably doing better than most of her classmates, having actual life experience to draw from. This doesn’t stop people from guffawing about how she’s getting a “liberal arts” degree, although we’d point out 99 percent of the people doing this couldn’t get into NYU to study Janitorial Services. So have some respect for the lady, folks.

2. Lexington Steele

Steele is basically porn’s go-to guy right now, but he also happens to have a double degree in history and African-American studies and he is also a licensed financial advisor. Before you ask, yes, porn is still more lucrative.

Porn also saved his life: Steele was a stockbroker and if he’d stayed in financial services, he probably would have been in the Twin Towers on 9/11.

1. Annie Sprinkle

Sprinkle tops the list because she got a PhD. To become a better porn star.

Sprinkle’s life is a bit complex, but she’s been working as a sex-positive feminist and trying to change the nature of the porn industry for years, including inventing entire genres of porn out of whole cloth; depending on who you ask, she invented gonzo porn and made feminist erotica mainstream. So as part of that, she’s gotten a BFA in photography and a doctorate in human sexuality in order to make better porn. Among other things.

Ms. Sprinkle, we salute your mission. In multiple ways.

Related on The Smoking Jacket:
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Five Unsexy Reasons You Wouldn’t Want to Be a Male Porn Star
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