Daddy was a drunk? Daddy stole your girlfriend? Daddy flushed your goldfish? Daddy loved another mommy? Daddy went to jail? Daddy had a secret family in Indiana? Daddy was bipolar?

If any of these deadbeat dad scenarios sound familiar, or if you’re just looking to spice up a family gathering, here’s a wee list of crappy gifts, which, alone or combined, are geared to make folks uncomfortable and/or trigger some epic drama.

It was gonna happen anyway, right.

1. Get your dad the soundtrack to Cats here.

2. Get your dad a LARPing chainmail getup here.

3. Get your dad a tie-dyed tie here.

4. Get your dad a giant vat of Cool Whip here.

5. Get your dad a Britney Spears perfume here.

6. Get your dad a natural penis enhancement products here.

7. Get your dad a long, blonde wig here.

8. Get your dad a whore here.

9. Get your dad an appointment for hair implants here.

10. Get your dad medicated dandruff shampoo here.

11. Get your dad a thong here.

12. Get your dad a Batman costume here.

13. Get your dad a how to pick up girls seminar here.

14. Get your dad a your dad tranny heels here.

15. Get your dad a prison penpal here.

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