Test Your Skills in the Art of (iPhone) Boob Grabbing

Boob Ninja iPhone App

According to Urban Dictionary, a Boob Ninja is either:

A) A person who is very subtle or sneaky when it comes to looking at a female’s breasts. Used as a compliment by males and a warning or an insult by females.


B) A ninja that is addicted to boobies and possibly cocaine.

We hate to make assumptions, but we’re going to guess option A is a little more accurate here. And just in case you’re currently on a career path to becoming a Boob Ninja yourself, we found an iPhone game that may aid you in your travels.

The Boob Ninja iPhone app challenges you, a boob man in ninja garb, to run along grabbing as many pairs of tatas as you can get your hands on, while dodging various kitchen utensils in your way. So, basically, we’re talking about some simulations of the real lives of you, the nefarious Boob Ninjas.

The game itself isn’t much to write home about; you, a ninja, can get taken out by poached eggs or a spatula, for fuck’s sake. But we should warn that anyone not rocking Jack the Pumpkin King fingers–aka if you have chubby fingers, fatty–might have a hard time getting their hands on these racks, as the gameplay is a bit clunky (boobs randomly pop up at the bottom of the screen, behind where you just came from).

It’s only a buck, and you could maybe even pass it off as a therapeutic investment. Y’know, for those times when the Ninja needs to stay incognito out in public. Resist, dudes, resist the urge to grab!

*DISCLAIMER: Don’t grab a girl’s boobs without clear invitation, Ninja mode or not. It’s wrong, and you could go to jail, asshole.