Ryan Lochte’s Mom vs. NBC

MAN CRUSH OF THE WEEK: RYAN LOCHTE’S MOM

While Ryan Lochte hasn’t had a great Olympics in the pool so far, he sounds like he’s still having a pretty great Olympics. And life in general.

In an interview with the Today Show, Lochte’s mom established herself as either the coolest or creepiest mom in the world by announcing that her son is too busy for relationships and only has time for one night stands.

If you have been around any females during the Olympics (and amazingly I have) you’ll know that Lochte is pretty much their favorite part of the games. In fact, he’s already commented about how 75% of the athletes have sex at the Olympic village and he’s pumped not to have a girlfriend this time. He is truly an American hero. And now so is his mom (despite her name being ‘Ike,’ which was probably the most surprising revelation in this whole thing).

Now in case Lochte intentions weren’t clear enough, now with his mom going on national television to discuss his uh, training commitments, the guy will never have another awkward post-‘heat’ conversation about how he ‘has to get up early in the morning to train.’

Granted, there’s a good chance Ike didn’t know what the slang the kids are using these days, but it’s also very, very likely she was telling the truth and was fully aware of all the implications and is just a badass.

In an Olympics where badminton players are trying to lose and girls with random ‘y’s in their name are losing their shit on the sidelines, it’s good there can be a true success story.

U-S-A?

DOUCHEBAG OF THE WEEK: NBC

As the Olympic broadcasting network, there are really only a few things you need to be able to do. Chiefly, broadcast the Olympics. And somehow, they managed to not pull this off.

Watching sports in 2012 only works when you can watch them live. Just now, as I’m typing this, Gabby Douglas just won the gold medal and it’s all over Twitter and every sports website out there. But not on TV, which is generally the best place to watch sports. Sure, it will still probably be enjoyable watching, but all of the drama will be gone.

When the Opening Ceremonies aired, I watched a stream of BBC instead of waiting around for hours for the NBC version after I knew what would happen (I LOVE hearing all the names of the countries for hours). I didn’t want to wait around to find out the majestic moment of the lighting of the torch would be done by a bunch of random British kids that no one knows.

Turns out a lot of people didn’t like this, especially since NBC’s Olympic Twitter account would tweet the results and not show them. It got to the point that Guy Adams was kicked off Twitter after his criticism of the network (which happens to be partnered with NBC).

Granted, they’ve tried to make up for it by airing an underwater boob, that crazy intense Hungarian mustachioed guy and gratuitous Ryan Seacrestage the ladies. But it’s just enough. The reason people still get cable or watch anything live is sports. Otherwise everything is online at a much more convenient time (at work).

While it’s unlikely NBC will show the games live because that’s what everyone wants them to do, I do have another option they could consider. Just hold the Olympics in America every year.

USA! USA! USA!

 

Follow Scott Bolohan on Twitter: @scottbolohan

Related on The Smoking Jacket:
The Olympics vs. Ryan Dempster 
Mike Trout vs. James Dolan
Man Crush vs. Douchebag: Caleb Lloyd vs. Dwight Howard

 

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