Remembering Ron Mexico: The Michael Vick Atrocity the World Forgot

Ron Mexico JerseyMichael Vick comeback talk is all the rage these days. We steadfastly stand by our prediction that at some point his story will be made into a full length Hollywood blockbuster and we can’t wait to see it, but at the same time, there are some crimes we just can’t find it in our heart to forgive a person for. When it comes to Michael Vick, we can get past the dog fighting thing. He’s served his time for the crime and turned his life around. That’s all you can ask of a person, really. But there’s another story from Vick’s past that’s a little bit harder to get over. We’re speaking, of course, of the Ron Mexico incident.

For those who don’t remember the Ron Mexico scandal, which at this point seems like just about everyone, allow us to give you a little background information. In 2005, a health care worker named Sonya Elliot filed a lawsuit against Vick claiming the NFL star gave her herpes in 2003. Of course, giving a person an STD isn’t really a crime. The world doesn’t have nearly enough prison space to enforce that kind of law. But with that said, if you know you have something, it’s just good form to let a person in on the secret before you go having unprotected sex with them. That’s where Michael Vick made his first mistake.

According to Elliot, when she confronted Vick about her herpes diagnoses, he admitted that he had the disease and knew about it prior to their encounter. But it gets worse. Elliot also claims that Vick visited several clinics to get tested for herpes using the alias Ron Mexico. As hilarious and fitting as that pseudonym is for a person getting a herpes test, there’s an inherent risk that comes with using a fake name as ridiculous as that. Specifically, you run the risk of humiliating the shit out of any dude who might happen to really be named Ron Mexico. In this case, the real Ron Mexico was an auto parts supplier who lived in Michigan. Needless to say, he wasn’t thrilled with all the unwanted attention the herpes scandal brought his way.

“I’ve been getting a ton of calls. People are asking me if I know him. I don’t, of course,” said Mexico, an auto parts supplier in Brighton, Michigan.

“How do you pull a name like that out of the air? Use Bob Smith or Jim Johnson; there’s 50 million of them. Out of all the names in the whole world, I wanna know how he picked this name out,” Mexico wondered.

That’s a hell of a question, Ron Mexico. Unfortunately, it was a question we never received an answer to. Throughout the entire controversy, Vick would only deny the allegations made by Sonya Elliot. That’s fine, but given that he eventually settled the case out of court, we have reason to believe he may not have been telling the truth.

This is where the Ron Mexico scandal rubs us the wrong way. There’s no strict law of man that requires a person to use a catch-all name like “John Smith” if you need to conceal the results of your herpes test, but there most certainly should be. People talk, even when they aren’t supposed to. That applies to health care workers as much as anyone else. What happens when the nurse at the clinic blabs to her friends that some dude named Ron Mexico has the crotch rot? Just like that, the news is all over town. Next thing you know, otherwise innocent Ron Mexicos get their good names dragged through the mud. The herpes mud, no less.

When you combine that with the fact that he knowingly put an assuredly lovely lady in the life of fire (if you catch our drift), you get a whole lot of wrong. You just don’t do shit like this to your fellow man (or woman). We might rejoice over the fantasy points Vick has been racking up for us this season, but thanks to the Ron Mexico scandal, we’ll always be a little bit wary of MV7.