Post-sexting: 5 Apps Say They’ll Get You Sexing

WE ALL KNOW WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU START SEXTING OUT PICS OF YOUR HOT ROD. First off, it seems like a great idea. Snap! Cock shot! Snap! Send! Awesome!

Except the recipient might not be digging that kind of attention so much. They’re like, whoa! Dick pic! Ew! Hilarious! Shit! And then they alert a newspaper about the dick pic. So then you lie, you say no way, you say it wasn’t yours, you get shamed at your job. Then you change tactics, you admit it was yours, you issue an apology, your wife looks bummed out, and the media sucks it up. So to speak.

So much hoopla over a wee appendage. Is this really how you want to live your life? Nip that business in the bud. Keep your thumbs occupied elsewhere. Try out some sexy apps. Some of these have lame reviews–like the app that’s supposed to make you see a chick without her clothes on (I totally thought I invented this when I was 8). But others might just keep you from doing something crazytimes.

Stay outta trouble, yo. Or, whatever. Don’t.

1. SEX DICE

It’s dubbed “educational and hilarious”  by the San Francisco Examiner, but the best is Writer416′s review: Thankyou! This app literally revived my relationship’s sex life. We were getting bored, and looking for something new, and this app provided!! Thanks! I worry about this pretend guy. Check out the app here.

2. THE SEX GAME

There’s a warning on the app that says there’s “intense sexual content”. Right. Because a couple of people looking at their phones is pretty hot times. Get your sexy on and look for yourself here.

3. SCOUT

 

No, we’re not talking about Demi and Bruce’s sexy tweets daughter who sometimes sings. Is Scout about social networking? Or is Scout about hooking up? Is Ashton Kutcher on Scout? Decide for yourself. Check her out here.

4. SEX POSITIONS

When you’re checking your phone to see how to do it… Well. If that’s how you roll, then the Sex Positions app will be a real trusty little treat for you and your budday.

5. SEX BOOTH

Folks say Sex Booth’s magical abilities to scan through clothing and show you what a girl looks like nude isn’t for real. What?! Come on–how can’t this be real? But imagine if it was. Man.

 

Related on The Smoking Jacket:
Video Games are Good for You 
Apes Will Rise 

 

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